Losing the Spark

Words paved the pathway I've walked And such a very long journey it has been For eighteen years I amused my muse And what started as a spark Erupted into a lovely bonfire Sometimes the words were hard to find Or they didn't really make sense And I have a catalogue full of weird musings Some of it may be good But some of it is definitely bad I was never afraid to put my words out there Sometimes there was dead silence And other times surprising raucous approval But I did it to show the world who I was When speaking is such a struggle I was a kitten but the written word made me roar But more often than not I suddenly struggle The words are harder to find When work saps whatever is in my mind Each effort ends in disappointment So it's like I no longer have a voice This isn't just a simple case of writer's block It feels like the passion is dying The bonfire is back to being a spark And the harder I try the harder it seems to get And losing the spark terrifies me So if this is to be the final rodeo I hope that when one looks at my catalogue My poems forge the tapestry of who I was and became From every triumph to every loss Words paved the pathway I walked