Little White Lies

I was wakened in the early morning by the rude ringing of a bell sounding far off in the distance in the restlessness of my private hell. Thunder rumbled before the rain began I nestled deeper within a dream sheltered by the umbrella of a lie for things aren't always as they seem. I heard her say, "Hello," in the soft cry of my inner voice, my loyal protector, my sinful guardian, the little white lie. Without conscience, my haunting specter. She's still here and so am I Frustration lives inside my head, too often the sorrowful reason I cry from saying the things I most dread. There are times when I feel broken and again she whispers in my ear, "Have no fear and rest assured I am here to mend your fearful soul with a little untruth, softly spoken. Let me lead. I'll take control." A gift of friendship I cannot pay, no small token for being spurned. A mortal's price for wearing a frown replaced by the sly smile of a lie when my world is twisted and turned completely upside down. There will be more bells ringing, more thunderstorms coming my way but I have a shield that I cowardly wield that keeps me dry from pouring rain and the pain I live with every day. In my mind or resting on my shoulder, her voice rules when I am weak. She takes charge and becomes bolder, a quick thinker when truth I cannot speak. I lament over each yesterday and the memories of my lies. That she will leave me alone, I pray and soon she'll whisper a final, "Goodbye."