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light touches

fragments of glass graze as figments of haze last being hurt can be imperceptible

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Clive Culverhouse

Date: 12/5/2023 6:31:00 AM

Great word play with sounds and similarities in the first two lines then huge profoundness in the last line, great write this D

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 12/5/2023 7:19:00 AM

Good on you, break them rules! watch out for the poem police though, shout if you need a witness

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/5/2023 6:47:00 AM

Thanks Clive, I liked what they accomplished together. Plus I'm trying to live without 575 rules to see how that works, you know being a modern poet and all :)

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 12/4/2023 6:53:00 PM

Beautiful senryu. I noticed the odd relationship between fragments and figments. Well played.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/4/2023 9:46:00 PM

Yes I was playing with words for a contest and liked how these went together. I liked all the half rhymes and mixed opacity imagery. Thank for your comment x

John Lawless

Date: 12/4/2023 5:29:00 PM

yet the silent scars remain

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/4/2023 9:46:00 PM

Particularly for sensitive souls

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 12/4/2023 3:13:00 PM

some pretty deep thoughts, Di11y. I agree, sometimes being hurt is like an undetectable piece of glass, hardly perceptible. Well said..have a great evening, Sara

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/4/2023 9:43:00 PM

Thank you Sara, I enjoyed the word play with this one x