Light On the Devil's Chord - Day 36

I sung all the night with the Devil, It seemed harmony had found itself spooning with dissonance Not indeed needing to be one or the same Yes—the light indeed could sustain itself in the midst Of what then was our prison Now a sanctuary of content wonder— Now, Saturated in tears, With me Had become an unsustainable haven Destined for Lady Darkness to engulf fully Upon my departure She would have him solely to herself, yes As was her vocation, Her meaning of life as I knew it I had been wary of the sensitive state immersing my frame I had fought desire blindly even as the waves of the Holy Spirit Had guided me to a sure outflow of strength I had told God to fight with me And now I was bleeding in the idea of losing it all Losing the idea of what had brought me here to begin with To love And understand This creature whom I have realized I loved All along All the more… How could love commune with the Prince of Darkness? How was I sensible, possible, In this state of dreamy longing? All that is love is God How then could I love the Devil With God’s agape love akin? How wary I was to begin with When suddenly I have been brought to the falls of spewing desires After seeing his very tear shed for my eyes alone Caution—caution! Gripping me, capturing me again I heard His voice warning me over and over About the deceptions, the lies… Could those tepid tears be but lies? How could I crush the words the Lord had given? How could I question? For it was He, Almighty God Who had spoken to me in the light of day Safe from the shadows of doubt It was God, the voice who spoke to the shafts of the universe To the fashioned stars, to the heated galaxies Ready to behold feverish, mortal breaths On a world blemished, first blessed The voice who had spoken to every plant, And every beast That quietened the sphere And every recalcitrant deed therein The voice, with anger, but no malevolence traced Who had imparted my heart to sing And bring forth light To even the damned Prison of Plot He exploded, His voice, in the night, in my dreams He warned me over and over To take heed lest I be lost forever Ensnared in the wants that have converted me to sin And yet another voice, awakening me, With consonance bright and restful Apprehensive and ardent Haunting And in every way passionate, His strident voice, deep and supple, Began, “Stay here just a little longer more as your God Has allowed you Has granted me this beatific company Take wing into my creations Travel with me freely Do not reason to die Dream to live with me forever! Yes—I laughed at you! Though like your God I test you! Yet never—never— Will I abandon you Do not pause at the discretion of your delicate mind Remember my tears the night before What wonders they have shown you They tasted of your own For I have devoured your sorrows And have given you joy sevenfold We shall fall no more, But rise in the surety of our love.” I opened my eyes to his face He gazed like one enchanted by lights in the night His face was like a kiss of reminiscence A trace of remembered ecstasy His face interrupted my thoughts With details stronger, sharper than ever before I longed then to taste again The lips that sung to me And I faltered in the faint sound Of his laughter escaping his shameless mouth “Oh sweet voice, soft as fire… Treacherous as fire— Why ever have I come here to die? And to crumble willingly, die with you? To cry with you? Do not laugh! Will I powder to earth by these subtleties? Will I become one with Hades again? To meet Death’s gaze willingly Again? Surely Gehenna awaits us both now For you and He alike know the truth— The shame I conceal That is ever revealed!” He frowned at me, “Or shall you forget, glory and all, And assemble yourself in line With all other fools, For the sacred touch of repentance, For the doom of everlasting obedience? I shall not let you forget me After I have cried for you!” I let my hands fall into his, As I gazed at the gloom I had brought him “Remember my time here is short— And it seems in God’s eyes I have fallen even shorter, These desires inside me will stretch my time My memories of you will keep you alive forever I will curb my hopes in misery, The moment of your defeat… And yet, I embark upon your passions, Evermore I fall, I bite into hidden truths Through the salt of your willing tears How shall I not share such fruit?” He pulled me from the ground to hold me, Standing tall with him, closer To avert my attention toward our creation How the maelstrom remained, Floating and mixing with my light It still remained—how could I have forgotten? In silence I begged His voice to strengthen me, Yet all I could hear was our music— The oath of my wants And in the corner of my eye I could see them— Louder, hear them! The four horses galloping In their round and round revelation Their hooves restless in the maelstrom’s Thickest interior… “Just think— Think of the power of your God Think of the vastness of his thoughts Had He known of your conflictions? Even before you longed to be in my presence, Surely! Of your love for me? Indefectibly! Or of my own love? Perhaps more doubt rots in your heart Than His own In all of His pastoral considerations, He knows your heart Just as you know my tears He knows you are a clever spirit, And no outcome is set in stone.” I heard their neighing louder Our creation surrounding us I asked him softly, “Could you silence them but a moment? See, I wish to show you my hopes Even if they are but foolish dreams…” The horses ceased their terrible cries The swoops of their hooves fell silent The half-drowned demons remained quiet Hades huffed and Death doted “I obey my love’s request, With a trusting heart, Open to your song, I rest in you the reigns.” March 2, 2018