Letter From a Classic Archetypal Dope, January 4, 1960 - Part Two

Part Two From that moment onwards Not when the fingerless muscles unclasped the indented bones But from that moment of knowing from that very moment of sustenance That day of human unbelief died unsung And the depth of human grief buried long bestirred a momentous song It willed within me it were man Some kindly soul no less But in surfeit laid aside The biscuits of distaste It willed within me it were some organisation Hurrying to the bed of despair With the spare crumbs of conversion The Holy Infant to succour I willed then it were a friend From want of excuse to teach His fooling heart to bleat Robbed his conscience of a treat I willed and willed and never In my thankless memory Sat the image of my enemy The fulcrum of my singular division And when that day I delved into my depths To find the words of irreproachable thanks I saw you turn and stamp the light Of my begging steps of penance I turned, rebuffed Should I have turned and gone Away from the stony snarl of thanklessness Away from all that I saw in that One inseparable act Away from my insurrection From the illimitable doubt of humility Far away from all the coquetry of cunning No man was divided more Between himself and self Between life and cherished death Astride on the unwelcome threshold of emptiness Had I come out of dying And yet the chained stick of fate Was certain to unravel for me No less, no more, the vicious sting of hate And revived with urgency's gratitude Twice over, reconditely, I was blessed (Continued in Part Three)