Let Me Explain

Can I explain myself? My lack of mental health, I think its stunted me, a deterrent i can't see, I've tried my best to fix, But fall for all the tricks, I'n not a clever one, conniving's never fun, And though it's very easy, The thought just makes my queasy, So i drink the thoughts away, I act in my life's play, A script of tragedy, of mental agony, But I still play it well, As far as I can tell, But the academy, seems to pass over me, Which doesn't hurt my pride, Won't let it break my stride, To fight my self destruction, Help mental reconstruction, Now I'm a contractor, No longer just an actor, I guess I'm just a factor, A good over-reactor.