Learning To Love Myself

Learning to Love Myself Slowly, very slowly, am I coming to terms with how I look My double-chinned face, my flabby arms, my stomach. I think to myself that these are things I shouldn’t be allowed to have because I have been told all my life that I was ugly and that being a bigger person was wrong. I am just now starting to come out of my comfort zone To look at myself in a mirror without feeling disgusted Or feeling like I am not good enough because others have told me my entire life that I wasn’t. I am beginning to love every inch, every curve, every flab every crease, every roll, every nook and cranny of my skin. That’s right…MY SKIN, not yours, or yours, or his, or hers But MINE! This is MY skin, MY body, MY story, it is not for you to tell and it most certainly is not for you to judge. You can either choose to look at it, or not look at it either way, I don’t care because I’ve spent too much time worrying about what others think of me. When I should be worrying about what I think of myself, and I AM beautiful, and I AM worthy, and I AM enough. No longer will I be haunted by the ringing echoes of “You’re too fat to be pretty.” “Being fat means being ugly.” Or “No one will ever love a fat chick like you.” I may still be working on learning to love myself but I am proud of how far I’ve come since I was a teenager. For the first time the other day, I let myself be vulnerable I posted a full-bodied picture of myself on the internet, freshly out of the shower I had come, towel on top of my wet mopped head, and wearing just a pair of leggings and a bra to cover my boobs. And much to my surprise… instead of being greeted with rude comments or nasty messages I was greeted with warmth, care, appreciation, and love for my stomach My face, my whole body…and the feeling was spectacular. If other people can see and appreciate the beauty of my body then I should be able to as well. Though it is but slow, my confidence is growing and not just because of the support and love received from my wonderful friends but also because of my wonderful husband. He has shown me time and time again how beautiful he finds me and yet every time I doubt him. But I will not allow it anymore, I am DONE letting people tell me how I should feel or look about MY own body. So, if I’m going to learn to love myself, It needs to be done MY way.