Lamenting Life Lost Before Mine Untimely Death

Lamenting life lost before mine untimely death Last rays of wicked flickering candlelight even to this present day (October 4th, 2023) lxiv anniversaries marking birth emotions of ambivalence self directed at me, and family of origin diatribes still career, within psyche of Matthew Scott Harris - less plain as day when prominent dearth of attentiveness, compassion, empathy, et cetera totally absent without leave, and dear father, (who art thou in heaven yet, or the closest equivalent domain linkedin with atheists) approximately ninety one and a half years since expulsion out swollen womb of Sadie Harris' pregnant girth housed Boyce Brandon Harris approximately a dirty deed done dirt cheap orbitz around the Earth. Since mcmlix, the year of my parturition, an aversion vociferously prematurely ejaculated, viz non verbal communication as if...spark of life extinguished within mine shuttered hearth nsync with mother (long deceased) vividly evinced sole son lack of mirth matter of fact gamut of all feelings except despair (stayin alive until for whom the bell tolls) constricted self worth gripped (strong as strangling choke hold), where anorexia nervosa squelched necessity to eat plus, apathy to attend to personal care spelled disaster (even impossible for FEMA to aright) psychological illness offshoots infected, this entire body, asper blight dulling that preschool boy with his demeanor cheerily bright, a pallor of gloominess enshrouded this lad blocking, crushing, destroying... daylight additionally quashing will power to fight off thee mailer daemon, a deadly parasite lodged evil doppelganger fought tooth and nail being ostracized throve to truncate more'n foresight, considerably less self actualized versus present pained realization, plus violent bent evidenced by self starved inflicted suicide, not gunfight since parents opposed firearms, anyway no matter, cuz height of determination to perish (albeit passive) exhibited pathetic might effortlessly overwhelmed, since corporeal defeated essence i.e. emaciated flesh light as a feather defeated thru thine dada decreed diktat, and maternal instinctual millwright both sets of chromosomes helping beget, asper this scribe learning late less a frayed when gripping whipping cords which will serve you more than than ropes compliments of nonpareil Fiona Apple McAfee-Maggart will do to play right.