King 'Enry the Viiith

King 'Enry of The 'Ouse of Tudor ruled merrie olde England, the mighty and the meek.
'E was quite obese in 'is elder years and threw 'is weight around - so to speak!
'E governed from 1509 'til 1549 when 'e expired and began 'is eternal bourne.
Though 'e slept around a lot, nary a male heir for 'is regal throne was born!

With virgin maidens and other guy's wives, 'twas a promiscuous life 'e led,
Though 'e eventually wooed a strange assortment of royal wives to 'is bed!
'E 'ad six of 'em, which would've left even the most virile of men in a daze!
'E soon tired of each and 'e dispensed with them in various and sundry ways!

Both Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard were destined to lose their 'eads!
Catherine of Aragon and Catherine Parr died of mysterious causes in their beds.
Jane Seymour and Anne of Cleves died from natural causes it is said as well.
'Twas rumored that 'Enry played golf as bells tolled each of their deathly knell!

'Enry got in a spat with the Pope of Rome which resulted in 'is excommunication.
This involved among other things 'is cavalier attitude in matters of domestication!
'E got in a towering snit and formed the Church of England as it is known today.
This 'ad all of not so merrie olde England in an uproar but 'Enry 'ad 'is way!

'Enry ruled with a fist of iron - serfs and gentry as well learned to toe the line!
'E died due to an old jousting wound and 'is fondness for food and wine!
'E was only fifty-five when in Windsor Castle 'e was laid out in repose.
'E was sent on 'is way with great pomp and ceremony as the olde saying goes!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 15 in Deborah Guzzi's "Sista's Bloody Sista's" Contest - October 2010
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

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Pettit Avatar
February 2, 2011 at 5:01 AM
I've been looking for your "Titanic" poem. The title of this one caught my eye and my curiosity. I can just hear Herman's Hermits singning their imported hit from the sixties while reading this. If this won in a contest, I can see why.
Haick Avatar
November 3, 2010 at 10:38 PM
Hi Bob, Congratulations on your win in the contest! I'm trying to catch up. Hope all is well..Always, Audrey
Kendrick Avatar
November 1, 2010 at 4:36 PM
Congratulations on your win in the contest..Sara
Devonshire Avatar
November 1, 2010 at 1:04 PM
Congratulations on you well-deserved win in Deb's contest, Bob! I thought this was one of the best entries. Love, Carolyn
Mehta Avatar
November 1, 2010 at 5:22 AM
Congratulations on this well deserved win, Bob
Devonshire Avatar
October 10, 2010 at 5:35 PM
Bob, I actually researched "Old English" dictionariesk, but I like the way your poem reads much better. It keeps the accent! Love, Carolyn
Devonshire Avatar
October 10, 2010 at 4:54 PM
Oh my goodness, Bob. We not only chose the same topic but apparently did the same research. Our poems are almost clones! (Great minds thinking alike again, no doubt. LOL) And I am in NJ as long as I wish to be here and my sister needs me. We'll just see... Love, Carolyn (Hope you enjoyed your week away, too!)
Shetley Avatar
October 6, 2010 at 1:26 PM
what a fantastic rhyme on Henry the 8th! Good luck in the contest!
Tideswell Avatar
October 2, 2010 at 1:35 PM
Hi Bob, I enjoyed your colourful representation of 'enry VIII. An entertaining reflection on his life and legacy. He was always a popular character to study in history lessons at school with the gruesome beheadings and his sexual promiscuity, in fact we were always taught that was the cause of his death (syphillis) but it seems that most historians refute that now. Enjoyed the read, thanks ~ Sharon :)
Kendrick Avatar
October 2, 2010 at 6:27 AM
Sad that one who was to rule his people behaved in such a manner..I guess it was like in the "Bible" in the book of "Judges" at the very end it says that every man did what he thought was right for they had no King to rule them...I enjoyed this bit of history in a somewhat humorous form..If for the contest, I wish you winners' circle...Sara
A   Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 6:48 PM
Very nice flowing of rhyming on King 'Enry VIIIth Robert, a nice little history, enjoyed Bob, hope your days go well..P.D.
Sweetheart Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 1:07 PM
Well this is certainly a great piece for the contest.. good luck .. u have done the dialogue and language quite well.. I am passing on this one due to so much family stuff ..but u have a winner her Bob.. enjoyed luv.
Fox Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 12:28 PM
Very good cracking piece and all in the vernacular like whot I speak ! I like the dying from the old jousting wound bit, our tradition more from a French disease from jousting women Ha Ha !
Brown Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 10:55 AM
I enjoyed reading your amazing poetry this morning. I hope you have a wonderful weekend filled with good health, love, and lots of inspiration Bob. Love, Carol
Johnson Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 8:08 AM
Good for you Harry. A great poem. I am afraid of this contest. Love, Joyce
Culverhouse Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 5:48 AM
good riddance... the bad jack!
Mehta Avatar
October 1, 2010 at 5:35 AM
Quite a history of King Henry the 8th, Bob
Roberts Avatar
September 30, 2010 at 10:04 PM
lovely rhyming history lesson, good luck in the contest
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