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Just a Quiet Explanation Please

“Hey that’s me bloody video!” I thought the cops had robbed me. But they said they’re brought it back from a successful robbery. “Aye!” I said “A robbery! The video was here when we went to bed”. “Well it seems that it was stolen while you slept” the copper said. I looked at me watch and seen the time was pretty close to four. “Strike me! When did he knock it off?” One cop said, “I’m not sure, but I s’pose an hour or two ago” and I just shook me head. “He done us while the pair of us were sleeping soundly in our bed!” It’s four o’clock, so close to two this mongrel must have struck. The copper’s said me quick return was much more than flamin’ luck. They said I used me ‘nut’ by scratching my name on me stuff, and to snaffle up this thieving ‘mug’ my contribution was enough. By ‘gee’ I’m feeling angry knowing our privacy has been invaded and we never heard a flamin’ thing while our home was raided. The mongrel could have slit me throat, then raped me missus too! To think we slept through his invasion. I can’t believe it’s true! “I demand to see that flamin’ thief to get from him a thing or two”. But a copper said “I’m sorry mate, but it’s something you can’t do. Don’t worry though you’ll get your say when you face him in court”. “No! No!” I shook me head and then explained “The robbery means naught”. “You see I've had many nights like his; home late and full of beers. Now that bugger he’s done something that I have tried for years. I want to ask one question that’s bugged me all me married life - how did he get inside the house, without waking up me wife?”

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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Date: 4/19/2022 9:42:00 PM
Too funny at the end Lindsay. Your house was broken into and robbed while you and your wife were asleep. Scary enough, they took your possessions and that made you mad but still not enough to go to court and hang the so and so's. All that went through your mind was how did they get in and do all that without waking your wife. Again I say, Lindsay you're too much. Thanks again for the chuckle. God Bless, JB
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Date: 2/13/2022 4:45:00 AM
Hey Laurie: Thanks for making me laugh. Your good humour always saves the day. SuZ
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 2/14/2022 4:19:00 PM
G'day Suzanne ... humour does make us feel better, so it must be a great natural medicine. Pleased you got a giggle Suzanne - Lindsay
Date: 1/30/2022 5:10:00 PM
Oh boy, great write, loads of fun. Well crafted.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 2/14/2022 4:16:00 PM
Hello M.L. ... thanks again M.L. Pleased you see the humorous side of this - Lindsay
Date: 1/26/2022 8:41:00 AM
Love it! Yea, I know -- strange, I can't turn without waking up my wife, and yet I sleep like a log she tells me. Hmm...:)
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 8:01:00 PM
Hello Joe ... I tell my wife I snore to protect her by keeping the elephants away. It is working but she still elbows me in the ribs - thanks Joe - Lindsay
Date: 1/26/2022 8:21:00 AM
A wonderfully entertaining poem, Lindsay. Cute ending too. I'll be a following you and your poetry now. Thanks for the great start to my day, Bill
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:57:00 PM
Hello Bill ... it's a pleasure Bill and I'll be reading your work in the future also. I'm pleased that you see this bush ballad style as entertaining - thanks Bill - Lindsay
Date: 1/25/2022 11:42:00 PM
Hey Laurie if you play the cards right you might Get him to move in and take over the nagg'n And mortgage and the whole lot.' He can't be That smart be'in as he got caught n if He's got Cross eyes he'll think He's getting double.) Could save ya a lot of trouble.'
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:53:00 PM
G'day Joe ... you shouldn't put ideas in my head. But of course it sounds nice and easy but not too many things nice and easy come my way. I've been told I'm either walking away from trouble or walking to it - thanks Joe - Lindsay
Date: 1/25/2022 7:48:00 PM
Again with the awesome kicker at the end. I always love to see your endings!!
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:46:00 PM
Hello Andrea ... I guess that you've picked up that I leave the serious business to real poets. Still in all, this bush ballad style is what I enjoy writing - thanks Andrea - Lindsay
Date: 1/25/2022 11:07:00 AM
This was a clever ending and funny too. Guess many a husband would want to question the thief ! We were burgled when the whole family went down to the coast last May for our son's birthday. There were 12 people in the holiday home and 5 dogs, but they targeted us and got through burglar bars (which were there for show rather than safety). My poem 'Thieves in the night' I thoroughly enjoyed this write. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:42:00 PM
Hello Jennifer ... yes, I do recall your poem. Due to covid and the price of a pup these days, thieves and scammers are making fortunes. This poem makes it seem light hearted but it's a very serious problem indeed - thank you Jennifer - Lindsay
Date: 1/24/2022 10:17:00 PM
I like the ending on this one Lindsay! well done.. Reminds me of my poem " Put the Cat Out"
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:36:00 PM
Hello Timothy ... I'll go searching for your similar poem and re-read it. I think the hubby's sick of spending too much time in the doghouse - thanks Timothy - Lindsay
Date: 1/23/2022 3:51:00 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed this, Lindsay. The thief must've been a cat burglar! :D
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:32:00 PM
Hello Evelyn ... you would think so. Of course the husband might have two left feet - pleased you enjoyed it Evelyn - Lindsay
Date: 1/22/2022 6:11:00 AM
Brilliant Lindsay!! Had me laughing throughout!! The last line is definitely something to which I can so relate!! Best wishes...Ron
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:28:00 PM
Hello Ronald ... there might be something in your comment. We all appear to laugh at ourselves - thanks again Ronald - Lindsay
Date: 1/20/2022 11:17:00 PM
Lol…I loved this Lindsay. For one thing he was probably sober! Very good. Blessings xxoo
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:25:00 PM
Hello Connie ... cat burglars can be very clever Connie; more clever than a husband I'd say - thanks again Connie - Lindsay
Date: 1/19/2022 12:23:00 PM
LOL! So funny Lindsay. Great story telling and surprise ending :)
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:14:00 PM
Hello Heidi ... I trust that all is well with you. Thank you for your comment and pleased you had a giggle - Lindsay
Date: 1/19/2022 10:14:00 AM
And again! Thanks for the laugh! Enjoyed, Lindsay! Aloha!
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:06:00 PM
G'day Rico ... you should patent the answer (if you know it) and you'll rake in the millions Rico - Lindsay
Date: 1/18/2022 11:14:00 PM
Haha, if you find out let me know. Tom
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 7:04:00 PM
Hello Tom ... do you think that those who have the answer will disclose it to us husbands - I doubt it and thanks Tom - Lindsay
Date: 1/18/2022 7:58:00 PM
I love your poem, Lindsay. It seems to serious, when all along you planned on that wonderful ending! Good writing!
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 6:55:00 PM
Hello Milton ... I'll bet he's not the first husband puzzled from this question. Pleased you enjoyed this piece of humour Milton - Lindsay
Date: 1/18/2022 7:15:00 PM
Lindsay, Well now.., pure comical genius in a fine Rhyme. -Richard
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/29/2022 6:50:00 PM
G'day Richard ... thank you Mate. Perhaps she can smell her hubby's breath as soon as he enters the house - catch you soon Richard - Lindsay