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“Hey that’s me bloody video!” I thought the cops had robbed me.
But they said they’re brought it back from a successful robbery.
“Aye!” I said “A robbery! The video was here when we went to bed”.
“Well it seems that it was stolen while you slept” the copper said. 

I looked at me watch and seen the time was pretty close to four.
“Strike me! When did he knock it off?” One cop said, “I’m not sure, 
but I s’pose an hour or two ago” and I just shook me head.
“He done us while the pair of us were sleeping soundly in our bed!”

It’s four o’clock, so close to two this mongrel must have struck.
The copper’s said me quick return was much more than flamin’ luck.
They said I used me ‘nut’ by scratching my name on me stuff,
and to snaffle up this thieving ‘mug’ my contribution was enough.

By ‘gee’ I’m feeling angry knowing our privacy has been invaded
and we never heard a flamin’ thing while our home was raided.
The mongrel could have slit me throat, then raped me missus too!
To think we slept through his invasion. I can’t believe it’s true!

“I demand to see that flamin’ thief to get from him a thing or two”.
But a copper said “I’m sorry mate, but it’s something you can’t do.
Don’t worry though you’ll get your say when you face him in court”.
“No! No!” I shook me head and then explained “The robbery means naught”.

“You see I've had many nights like his; home late and full of beers.
Now that bugger he’s done something that I have tried for years.
I want to ask one question that’s bugged me all me married life -
how did he get inside the house, without waking up me wife?”

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