Beautiful Scars Poet Prose

Just a Matter of Time

Grief stricken days.
My depressed ways.
Love never stays.
My depressed ways.

Beyond the shadows that mirk lifelessly towards my essence, I knew it was just a matter of time before I would break.Too young to die. Too old to cry. Babies cry in need and I cry out of desperation. Babies cry for love and I cry for forgiveness. How do I let myself feel the freedom of my wrong actions? How do I abbreviate my life into two simple letters, “L.L.” This stands for “Lost Life”.

I’ve been lost and I’ve been found. I’ve found peace and I’ve fallen down. I began living miserably the day you died and I began to shut myself off the moment you cried. No life could be saved with a broken heart. A broken heart needs nourishment and I need redemption. I have sowed too many seeds of remorse and I have shown too many drives off course. For, my life is lost. I don’t know where to find my life. See, it has flown far away too long ago to remember. Even though I need happiness, I deserve the sorrow. Even though I crave desires of salvation, I deserve angst. I am not a young girl anymore. I am an adult with needs that cannot be filled without deep blue water. The water frees my insanity and I will no longer feel condemned. I was born to feel condemned. I was born to live miserably. I don’t deserve balloons and flowers. I deserve black clouds and sad days, lonely in crowds and bad ways. 

Beyond the shadows that mirk lifelessly toward my essence, I knew it was a matter of time before I would break.

Written By: Laura Loo
Date Written: May 21, 2016

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Richard Lamoureux May 24, 2016 at 7:43 AM You have expressed the darkness with great clarity. If this is real I hope you come to realize that you deserve balloons, flowers and rainbows. Hugs Rick

Kelli White May 22, 2016 at 9:28 AM There is never an ill wind that does not blow some good. God has a plan. Bless you in your time of need.

Nette Onclaud May 21, 2016 at 2:57 PM i am breathless right now.. lou, you moved me with this intimate glimpse of life; ohh my!... incredible!..huggs

Eileen Manassian May 21, 2016 at 2:52 PM This is so....deep, Laura. I almost don't know what to write in response. There are days that I have felt this way. You, the author, deserve every good thing in life. :) I know you have a caring and giving heart. If this is a fictitious write....then you really were able to delve in deep to some of the issues that people who deal with depression face. Thanks for sharing... Beautiful Scars May 21, 2016 at 3:40 PM Eileen, you are very sweet. This is partly fiction. I am having a rough day, that's all, but I know this too shall pass. I am having some health problems but I will be just fine. I know how deep this must have hit you. I hope you know you are cared about by many. We may feel "lonely in crowds" but some times we are happy by ourselves. Stay strong lady, you are beautiful the way you are...-Laura