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Grief stricken days.
My depressed ways.
Love never stays.
My depressed ways.

Beyond the shadows that mirk lifelessly towards my essence, I knew it was just a matter of time before I would break.Too young to die. Too old to cry. Babies cry in need and I cry out of desperation. Babies cry for love and I cry for forgiveness. How do I let myself feel the freedom of my wrong actions? How do I abbreviate my life into two simple letters, “L.L.” This stands for “Lost Life”.

I’ve been lost and I’ve been found. I’ve found peace and I’ve fallen down. I began living miserably the day you died and I began to shut myself off the moment you cried. No life could be saved with a broken heart. A broken heart needs nourishment and I need redemption. I have sowed too many seeds of remorse and I have shown too many drives off course. For, my life is lost. I don’t know where to find my life. See, it has flown far away too long ago to remember. Even though I need happiness, I deserve the sorrow. Even though I crave desires of salvation, I deserve angst. I am not a young girl anymore. I am an adult with needs that cannot be filled without deep blue water. The water frees my insanity and I will no longer feel condemned. I was born to feel condemned. I was born to live miserably. I don’t deserve balloons and flowers. I deserve black clouds and sad days, lonely in crowds and bad ways. 

Beyond the shadows that mirk lifelessly toward my essence, I knew it was a matter of time before I would break.

Written By: Laura Loo
Date Written: May 21, 2016

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