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July 22

I'm so lost and confused.
How am I supposed to win, if all I do is lose?
I've been praying more and it doesn't seem easier.
But the trouble in my life is consuming me as if I stepped in quick sand.
Slowly, I watch myself drown under the heavy load of depression.
At night my pillow doesn't offer relief
It holds all the problems I attempt to avoid
suffocating me as if my thoughts had jumped out of my head
And were the murder holding a pillow over my face.
Sometimes I sob deep bellows of hollowed emotions in a coffin called bed
Laying in my bed is not a refuge for the war that I fight against myself
I look in the mirror and I cant figure out "why I can't fix myself?"
Tears run down my face like dirty water
Water stained from the pain I've endured
Trapped between four walls without a hint of who you really are.
What am I living for?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

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Date: 1/7/2019 9:47:00 PM
You are living because you have a purpose. Someone somewhere needs you; beautifully expressed emotions; hard and sad though.
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Issabella McCarty
Date: 1/10/2019 7:41:00 PM
Emotions are like diamonds proven beautiful through the toughest heat and pressure
Date: 1/2/2019 6:56:00 PM
This is so strong! Please keep writing! Many hugs! xxxx
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Issabella McCarty
Date: 1/3/2019 4:44:00 PM
Thank you so Much Nancy XoXo
Date: 1/1/2019 2:43:00 PM
I sense a letting go here. Poetry is so therapeutic.
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Issabella McCarty
Date: 1/2/2019 5:30:00 PM
I couldn’t agree more
Date: 12/29/2018 12:28:00 AM
You do not have to have synonyms for sadness, Issabella. You have WORDS - glorious words, you are a word-maestro! Well done! Indeed!
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Issabella McCarty
Date: 12/29/2018 10:01:00 PM
You are too kind Karen!! Thank you thank you thank you