July 22

I'm so lost and confused.
How am I supposed to win, if all I do is lose?
I've been praying more and it doesn't seem easier.
But the trouble in my life is consuming me as if I stepped in quick sand.
Slowly, I watch myself drown under the heavy load of depression.
At night my pillow doesn't offer relief
It holds all the problems I attempt to avoid
suffocating me as if my thoughts had jumped out of my head
And were the murder holding a pillow over my face.
Sometimes I sob deep bellows of hollowed emotions in a coffin called bed
Laying in my bed is not a refuge for the war that I fight against myself
I look in the mirror and I cant figure out "why I can't fix myself?"
Tears run down my face like dirty water
Water stained from the pain I've endured
Trapped between four walls without a hint of who you really are.
What am I living for?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Kiser Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 9:47 PM
You are living because you have a purpose. Someone somewhere needs you; beautifully expressed emotions; hard and sad though.
Mccarty Avatar
January 10, 2019 at 7:41 PM
Emotions are like diamonds proven beautiful through the toughest heat and pressure
Beckman  Avatar
January 2, 2019 at 6:56 PM
This is so strong! Please keep writing! Many hugs! xxxx
Mccarty Avatar
January 3, 2019 at 4:44 PM
Thank you so Much Nancy XoXo
Evans Avatar
January 1, 2019 at 2:43 PM
I sense a letting go here. Poetry is so therapeutic.
Mccarty Avatar
January 2, 2019 at 5:30 PM
I couldn’t agree more
Krutsinger Avatar
December 29, 2018 at 12:28 AM
You do not have to have synonyms for sadness, Issabella. You have WORDS - glorious words, you are a word-maestro! Well done! Indeed!
Mccarty Avatar
December 29, 2018 at 10:01 PM
You are too kind Karen!! Thank you thank you thank you
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