July 22

I'm so lost and confused. How am I supposed to win, if all I do is lose? I've been praying more and it doesn't seem easier. But the trouble in my life is consuming me as if I stepped in quick sand. Slowly, I watch myself drown under the heavy load of depression. At night my pillow doesn't offer relief It holds all the problems I attempt to avoid suffocating me as if my thoughts had jumped out of my head And were the murder holding a pillow over my face. Sometimes I sob deep bellows of hollowed emotions in a coffin called bed Laying in my bed is not a refuge for the war that I fight against myself I look in the mirror and I cant figure out "why I can't fix myself?" Tears run down my face like dirty water Water stained from the pain I've endured Trapped between four walls without a hint of who you really are. What am I living for?