I'm so lost and confused.
How am I supposed to win, if all I do is lose?
I've been praying more and it doesn't seem easier.
But the trouble in my life is consuming me as if I stepped in quick sand.
Slowly, I watch myself drown under the heavy load of depression.
At night my pillow doesn't offer relief
It holds all the problems I attempt to avoid
suffocating me as if my thoughts had jumped out of my head
And were the murder holding a pillow over my face.
Sometimes I sob deep bellows of hollowed emotions in a coffin called bed
Laying in my bed is not a refuge for the war that I fight against myself
I look in the mirror and I cant figure out "why I can't fix myself?"
Tears run down my face like dirty water
Water stained from the pain I've endured
Trapped between four walls without a hint of who you really are.
What am I living for?
Copyright © Issabella McCarty | Year Posted 2018