Jealous Wife

If you’re living your life with a jealous wife,
And you are under her spell,
When a minute late well your weekly fate,
Is twenty-four seven in hell.
You will never find, just one peace of mind,
Unless there’s a friendly bar,
Even then you’ll groan when you hear the phone…
She’ll be looking for where you are.

I’ve been accused and I’ve been abused,
For imaginary fun that I’ve had,
I am her pet hate, and she’ll denigrate
To the point of overly mad,
Her deep desire is to stoke the fire,
Declaring that I am a liar,
When she takes note of a hair on my coat,  
Asserting me into the mire.

For she’ll cause a scene on where I have been,
And who was I cheating with?
So I got to the state, I’d retaliate…
Her thoughts are a terrible myth.
But even though, her conjecture will grow 
Downgrading the lot of us men,
Then she will swear, when she can’t find a hair,
That I’m dating bald women again.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Mcguire Avatar
August 23, 2018 at 11:06 PM
Great Poem! Love the story and the rhythm. This reminds me of one of my poems "grab a beer". Read it if you get a chance. Thanks care.
Laurie Avatar
August 28, 2018 at 10:30 PM
G'day Timothy … yeah, I loved grab a beer because it sort of had me thinking that the more beer you drink the further away home gets until you've got no idea where home is. Thanks for your kind comment Timothy - Lindsay
Shahein Avatar
January 9, 2016 at 10:28 PM
Lol , This is very creative and beautiful , great write my dear , I'm glad I've stopped by to read it, hugs / / :) dalia
Laurie Avatar
January 10, 2016 at 5:58 PM
Hello Dalia ... I'm pleased that you got a chuckle out of this little tale - thank you Dalia - Lindsay
Beaufort Avatar
December 29, 2015 at 8:22 AM
Ok now, but it took longer than I expected. I am married to an Italian hot headed woman
Beaufort Avatar
December 16, 2015 at 7:48 PM
Lindsay, here's the latest. My wife asked me to take her out for breakfast. OK, no problem I will take you, I said. Then, because I didn't say WE could go, I am now in the doghouse.
Beaufort Avatar
December 29, 2015 at 8:17 AM
I'm ok now but it took about three weeks. I have to be more careful.
Laurie Avatar
December 28, 2015 at 11:35 PM
Hey Duke... are you out of the doghouse yet. Thanks again mate and happy new year - Lindsay
Duggan Avatar
October 21, 2015 at 1:46 AM
ooooooooooops, thought you were talking about me there for a minute Lindsay, excellent poem, really enjoyed the read. Take care........Vera.
Laurie Avatar
December 28, 2015 at 11:33 PM
Never Vera... I couldn't imagine you being anything like the lady in this poem - happy new year to you and Peter - Lindsay
Sergi Avatar
October 20, 2015 at 6:44 AM
Hi Laurie: I really enjoyed the last line of your poem. there are some wives that mistrust you no matter what you do (hahha) Good Write. thanks for the comment on my poem.
Laurie Avatar
December 28, 2015 at 11:31 PM
G'day Ralph... fair comment Ralph. I must be careful what I write here. I think I'm being watched - thanks Ralph - Lindsay
Horsman Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 4:51 PM
Oh this is bloody good, just love it, known a few of them in my time..
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:23 PM
Thanks Harry for reading. They are around, but thankfully their barbs have missed me - Lindsay
Wigley Avatar
October 18, 2015 at 11:59 PM
Great write, Lindsay, and a killer last line, as per usual, you never disappoint. I'm afraid none of us are immune to this treatment- even Santa Claus got accused with seeing somebody elf....... Regards, Viv
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:21 PM
Hello Viv... your little Santa quip had me giggling away. Thanks for the encouraging comment - Lindsay
Williams Avatar
October 18, 2015 at 5:08 AM
Hello Lindsay, As usual, a great last line again. Funny poem with a lot of truisms for some badgered husbands. Interesting rhyme pattern, love the double rhymes in the same line, although this is sometimes hard to write. But I guess for someone that's been writing as long as you have it comes a little easier. Terrific again Lindsay----John
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:17 PM
G'day John... good to hear from you again. If you read the old masters there is a fair bit of double rhyming and they do it so well - thanks mate - Lindsay
Marcum Wong Avatar
October 17, 2015 at 3:22 PM
This was a hoot Lindsay! My husband is possessive but not jealous because I never give him reason to be. You have to have that trust. I enjoyed this. and loved the ending!
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:13 PM
G'day Connie... thanks for commenting. It's just a bit of harmless banter that goes on amongst us, and yes, trust is imperative - Lindsay
Fleming Avatar
October 17, 2015 at 12:12 PM
Nicely done, Lindsay Your words are spot on! Lol. :) john
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:09 PM
Thank you John for reading. I hope they're not spot on for too many - Lindsay
Beaufort Avatar
October 17, 2015 at 11:16 AM
There are no shortage of jealous spouses. Just check out Italy. What happens if you just think about cheating but never go there? Does she intrude into your fantasy life? The imaginary fun that you've had is in her mind, but if you are normal--it may be in yours too. For me, that is OK. I know that you mean this all as a joke. I certainly hope you do!!! Otherwise, ouch.
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:07 PM
Oh it's a joke alright Duke, but perhaps a poem for henpecked men who can do with a grin - thanks mate - Lindsay
Callus Avatar
October 17, 2015 at 7:10 AM
This set me thinking, Lindsay....what's worst, a jealous or a scorned woman? I think both are dangerous;) Thank you for giving me a good laugh. Have a nice day. // paul
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 6:04 PM
G'day Paul... a pleasure Paul. Sometimes one can never seem to do the right thing - Lindsay
Dietrich Avatar
October 16, 2015 at 8:41 PM
hahaha, I sure hope this is an exaggeration. Funny as heck!
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 5:58 PM
Hello Andrea... totally fiction in my patch, but I guess these things go on from sides of the fence - thanks again Andrea - Lindsay
Curtis Avatar
October 16, 2015 at 7:21 PM
What the hell is she gonna say Lindsay if she doesn't see lipstick on your collar...lol
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 5:55 PM
G'day Jerry... interesting point; and what about if she doesn't see my pay packet - thanks mate - Lindsay
Pinet Avatar
October 15, 2015 at 11:20 AM
A fun frolic in the imagination that is humorous nonsense that plays with words and sets us up for a chuckle. This poem is whimsical and all to human in its content and its delivery. Emile.
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 5:52 PM
Hello Emile... thanks Emile. All fiction in my life but I have witnessed similar situations - Lindsay
Deremer Avatar
October 12, 2015 at 4:38 PM
Your poem is just hilarious!!
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 5:47 PM
G'day Pam... thanks for reading and commenting. Written all in good fun - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
October 11, 2015 at 8:13 PM
ha ha ha hilarious Lindsay:-) hugs Jan xx
Laurie Avatar
October 19, 2015 at 5:45 PM
Hello Jan... probably hear this stuff in the pub from whinging men - catch you soon Jan - Lindsay
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