John Watt Poet Quatrain

Ivory Tower-Y

DISCLAIMER: This is a tongue-in-cheek, sardonic critique 
of my own poetry from the perspective of a fictitious non poetry lover. This is not aimed at any of you wonderful Soup poets... please do not be offended!


Tell me who has the time for a poem?
If there's facts to know, I want to know 'em.
You enjoy sounding Ivory Tower-y
But I don't care for words super flowery.

Your analogies and your hyperbole
Like intense gnats annoy me disturbally
I will catch all your facts as you throw 'em
But I just don't have time for your poem.

All astonishing alliterations
Will arouse in me no titillations
Your undue fascination with meter
Is not shared by this philistine reader.

Your iambic pentameter’s boring
And induces in me rhythmic snoring
You may claim it’s Shakespearean rhythm;
But perhaps we should bury it with him!

Your obtuse meta narrative's yet a bore
Please remind again, what's your meta for?
Your insipid attempts to use simile
Are like choking on smoke from my chimile.

Your pursuit of profound allegory
Should be saved for your purple prose story
But as I've said before, I've no time
To be reading your 4-stanza rhyme.

Should you give me a gift of a sonnet
I’ll be scanning for pawn shops to pawn it
Though you say if I tried hard, I'd love it
What I'd love most is if you'd just shove it!

Reading poetry takes too much work
And I'm only a mid-level clerk.
Your quatrains? I suggest you forego 'em
'Cause I just don't have time for your poem.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Charles Messina June 19, 2020 at 6:59 AM John, I absolutely love this. I laughed out loud you almost had me spill my coffee while sipping it (lol). Awesome write! Charlie John Watt September 29, 2020 at 2:59 PM Sorry about the coffee spill, my friend! Thanks for the uplifting comment ~ John

Michelle Faulkner June 17, 2020 at 10:51 PM Happy to come back to this one, even if I don't have time to read it :) Congrats on your win, well deserved! John Watt June 17, 2020 at 11:09 PM Aha, I see what you did there, very clever! Thanks for the congrats, my poetic pal!

Sam Kauffman June 17, 2020 at 12:22 PM Ahh, Ogden Nash emerges from the dugout! Clever, witty and, as Michelle puts it, wry - or is it rye? Oh well, whatever it is - congratulations on this masterpiece of humor! Gotta go to batting practice - smiling all the way - "cause I don't have time" John Watt June 18, 2020 at 2:49 AM Maybe "awry" is the word you are looking for? Thanks for getting my offbeat humor, Sam!

John Hamilton June 17, 2020 at 10:08 AM I really enjoyed this one John, congrats on a great write and win! Hard to believe this got an N/A! John Watt June 18, 2020 at 2:47 AM Thanks for giving it a little late life nudge, John!

Michelle Faulkner April 23, 2020 at 10:47 PM Thanks for recommending this, John - it's so spot-on wry and witty, my kind of poem:) John Watt April 23, 2020 at 11:26 PM I kind of thought you might like it - in the vein of "A Reverse Rant". Thanks for coming by.

Line Gauthier March 12, 2020 at 10:28 PM Hard to believe anyone would pawn a gifted sonnet, John! Unfortunately, from your poem, we recognize all too well the hushed messages from some people in our lives who are less than supportive. They're not worth listening to. John Watt March 13, 2020 at 12:08 AM Great counsel, Line. And with all the supportive friends such as yourself here at Soup, we don't need to listen to the naysayers or the disinterested. We Are FAM-I-LY!

Gershon Wolf January 21, 2020 at 11:17 AM You know, all kidding aside, "I just don't have time for your poem" is a great sounding board, at least for me, when attempting to write poetry. Keeps me on the straight and narrow! Thanks, John6DC John Watt January 21, 2020 at 4:17 PM Gershon, that's why I wrote this - to pursue humility and to be a mirror of truth as to why I am writing what I write. Is it to bless, to impress, or to express? Hopefully, it's the former or the latter. Thanks for the visit, friend ~ John

Gregory Richard Barden January 20, 2020 at 1:54 AM So, am I offending others (or myself) if I say there is much truth to this? Oh, the sardonic commentaries I have hidden among the hedgerows of my home page listings, lol. I'll not say more, lest I discover how aptly this applies to ME. Great stuff, John - keep up the great work! ;o) Gregory Richard Barden January 21, 2020 at 4:47 AM That's the wonderful thing about your honesty, John, I think most of us here are joined by understandings and struggles that we all take on each day and write about. I remember when I first came here I was so surprised that so many folks felt the same awful things that I did, lol ... we poets don't write so much about beauty as we do about being ... human! That's a GOOD thing, a very good thing, and that IS beauty. Blessings - I shall be back to this one repeatedly! :o) John Watt January 21, 2020 at 2:33 AM Appreciate the vote of confidence, Gregory. And no, this most certainly does not apply to you, nor was it intended for any other Soup poet. The finger in the mirror is pointing directly at my reflection...

Andrea Dietrich January 16, 2020 at 8:19 PM I absolutely love this, John. SO witty this is!!! And the rhymes you can up with for 'poem" very clever. FAVE John Watt January 16, 2020 at 10:58 PM Thank you Andrea. I can only imagine how many faves you have accumulated over all your years on Soup. I'm honored by that, and blessed by your kind comment. Hugs ~ John