It's My Circus

It's my circus and I'm the star My damn mechanic can't fix my car My sunroof leaks on the passenger seat And my brake shoes are made from two left feet My roof leaks and the water comes down My wife is screaming, you can hear her down town The oil burner's gone and the faucet is slow But who gives a damn, it's still my show My CD player keeps spitting my CD's back In the bathroom sink, I found a hair line crack My toilet a stolen and so on and so on I'd investigate myself, but I'd have nothing to go on My kids say "Dad, you gotta do something soon.' I told them I am. I'm planning a trip to the moon My garden is growing but I used the wrong seeds I planted flowers but I'm growing weeds The county just doubled my property tax And my hedge looks like it was trimmed with an axe I twisted my ankle, I'm in constant pain But i'm still here so I can't complain I'll have a few beers at a local bar It's still my circus and I'm still the star My wife's still screaming, you need to cut the grass As soon as OPEC passes out free gas It's way too high, up to the garbage can lids I's okay, I can still see the kids Lightning struck and my television caught fire There was a nail found in my right front tire There's a crack in the windshield of my car But it's still my circus and I'm still the star The priest stopped by to have the house blessed I said please be careful, I think it's possessed I'd set it on fire if I had a torch The cat just peed on my back porch I found a thumb tack in my bedroom slipper We have a new neighbor, he's Jack the Ripper But when I wake up the sun does shine It's my circus and I'm doing fine.