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It Was Raining When I Woke Up

It was raining when I woke up early this morning and it’s expected to rain all day. The temperature outside is in the low fifties; cold and gloomy and perfectly in line with how I’m feeling. Sadness, disappointment and a growing sense of imperfection is gnawing inside reminding me that no matter how much I strive to improve both my writing endeavors and ability to reach out and connect with others, (including strangers and those I love) I keep missing the mark by countless miles. Despite all the “Self Help” books on how to become more successful, more efficient with one’s time and more in tune with finding and connecting with our “Inner being and best true self,” at the end of the day, only we can ultimately help ourselves. Or can we? Sometimes I find that the only way to overcome my own faults and fears is to simultaneously face them and muddle through them, regardless of the amount of trouble, time and tears. I just keep telling myself, “Hang on, there’s always next year.” And so, I, the proverbial and eternal optimist continue to keep doing what I’m doing knowing full well that no matter how much I do, say, or give to others, it’s never enough and never will be because dissatisfaction, restlessness and longing for more desires including people, places, knowledge, ideas, creativity and all other urges that lurk inside will never allow us (or, at least not me) to rest easily and peacefully as I please. So, I ask you to please forgive me. Forgive my lack of attentiveness to your creativity, your love and your needs. Forgive me for not being there for all your failures, triumphs and near misses towards your higher realms, whatever you may imagine them to be. Forgive me for not praising and raising you to the level you deserve. I am only one man. I’m only one soul on the journey of a lifetime trying to live each moment the very best way I know how while stumbling, bumbling, fumbling humbly along the way. I can only hope and pray that you, dear reader, may understand these thoughts as I sit here and watch the rain until it stops. © Terrell Martin, 02/23/2025

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Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 2/25/2025 8:59:00 AM

Hello Terrell, your honesty and vulnerability here is incredibly moving. I hear the weight of your self-reflection and can feel your earnest desire to grow and connect. It’s hard when our inner struggles seem endless, but your willingness to keep going, despite the doubts, is truly admirable. We’re all doing our best, one step at a time, even when the journey feels heavy. Winter Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel

Terrell Martin
Date: 2/25/2025 10:15:00 AM

Hello again, Daniel, and thank you for your very kind and deeply perceptive response to this little piece of personal musings I somehow managed to reveal. I'm still unclear, amused and amazed at times at where and how our thoughts actually originate. In any event, I consider them all a gift to each of us regardless of their origins and do my best to "Let it flow, then let 'em go" and this poem is surely the result of one of those moments. Thanks again and hope to return your visit shortly. Blessings to you as well, Terrell

Ink Empress

Date: 2/25/2025 3:28:00 AM

This is such a sincere and authentic poem, from your soul, and i can feel the genuineness of your introspective ink, and how generous and kind you are. As you ask for forgiveness in the end. It isnt something we find everyday in others, so many do not like to ask for forgiveness and to become better versions too, one that is aware of all the sides of them and their inner-self, is one that would receive more from the highest! Pleasure reading this heartfelt write! Felt this! Sending you light

Terrell Martin
Date: 2/25/2025 10:03:00 AM

Dearest Empress, I had no idea this little piece of introspective writing would touch anyone's heart strings as much as it has yours. Your response is quite frankly, overwhelming and more uplifting to me than I can possibly describe. Thank you for taking to time to read, contemplate and respond in such a deep and moving manner. You are a poetic angel to me and so shall remain. Blessings to you & yours, Terrell

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 2/24/2025 3:48:00 PM

Your poetry was so touching dear poet. Every word softened my heart,

Terrell Martin
Date: 2/25/2025 9:59:00 AM

Thank you ever so much, dear Rose. Your response is sincerely appreciated and deeply heartfelt. I'm very glad we are able to connect and look forward to doing so again. Warm hugs, Terrell

Tom Woody

Date: 2/23/2025 6:59:00 PM

I don't give fancy comments Terrell. I'm just a simple fella. But your self musing is humble, inspiring, real. I have found you to be an excellent poet. Here in amateur land you're only as good as your last poem, I'm afraid. Few, if any remember what we've written a year ago, or even a month. Hence, we can't afford to take ourselves too seriously. Relax and enjoy the ride my friend

Terrell Martin
Date: 2/24/2025 4:29:00 AM

Thanks again, Tom. No truer words were spoken than what you have just conveyed. Yesterday's accomplishments are nothing more than a memory and it's time to move on to bigger and better things. Occasionally however, I get caught up in the "Creative moment" (or creative license) and have a tendency to be overly theatrical with my writings. But such is the nature of poetry, I suppose, Thank you again my friend. PS: I'm loving the ride!

Sotto Poet

Date: 2/23/2025 9:38:00 AM

Dear Terrell, Your powerful poetry conveys contemplation, vulnerability, and the quest for self-improvement despite inadequacies. It examines the conflict between connecting with others and accepting personal limits. Sadness, disappointment, and personal growth are also explored in the poem. It stresses self-forgiveness and admitting mistakes while expressing hope for the future. Your words evoke strong emotions with vivid pictures. Words like "gnawing," "cold," "gloomy," and "muddle" describe inner unrest. The term "proverbial and eternal optimist" shows cynicism and hope. Good job, friend.

Terrell Martin
Date: 2/23/2025 10:22:00 AM

Thank you again, Sotto. As always, you never hold back on your well-spring of deep thought, appreciation and encouragement of my mine (and many others) poetry. I consider you "A gift from the gods" who is both a creatively stellar poet and an amazingly decent human being as well. I am always uplifted with your thoughts and especially so today. All the Best /// Terrell