It Was Or Was It

was it or it was too dreamy to say when my explorer(mom) kept her eyes shut letting her classic music to take over I jumped beside her jump of fear, jumped to disturb disturb her silence, disturb her peace peace of her face, quietness of her life she opened her eyes, with a dim shy long long jump jump of decades, jump of a child who lost his leg in the social trap gulped the job, puked the notes what to do, not the one to choose all of a sudden, old had life success, success of gain gain of lost loss of heart the silent shutter stretched like a bow her eyes narrowed like a river flow joy of attainment, joy of peace did she found something? something lost, something she starved for the flow of satisfaction, i couldn't bare 'my roles over, over this pity world' her face played i swept on her bony knee stuck my ear, hard on skull knocking the old tales of fantasy rain started on my brows wetting the heart, hit my nose rain of few drops, drop weigh as ocean each flooding my heart sinking me deep down for the burns of her heart the flow was too much, my vision blurred and i wondered, why do my heart burn? the old bird started humming humming of decades ago humming of her old-old birds humming for my sleep humming which ends the story. and i still wander in wonder was it or it was