Is Your Dog a 'Biter'

Is YOUR Dog a 'Biter'? The gal inside responded..."Just a minute...be right with you"...giving me a little time to practice my routine, When...as the gal withdrew the door the most ferocious dog that I, in all my door-to-doors, I swear, have ever seen Did its best to break its chain...the chain that saved my life! "Sorry about that, but he don't take to strangers," she explained, "He simply needs to smell you, sir...it's best if you don't move!" But 'standing still' was not a ploy for which I had been trained, So I was shaking wildly, and the dog could clearly tell that I was totally petrified. The lady knew it, too, And as the hound inhaled my scent - with every fang exposed - I saw myself as - getting mauled - regardless what I'd do! "Is your dog a 'biter'? If I pet him," I inquired, "will he take my hand off?" "Not a chance," the lady quipped, "He gets a little squeamish when he doesn't know the 'petter'...but no one, I assure you, sir, has been so much as nipped." Feeling safe with her response, I slowly dropped my hand and oh-so-gently tried to stroke the snarling canine's head, Presuming it would calm him down, but - that's not how it went! Despite my cautious tactics, and in spite of what she'd said, The beast went nuts and did its best to have my leg for lunch! The gal was trying hard to jerk him back when things went south, And by the time she'd reeled him in the bloody piece of denim missing from my blue jeans was protruding from its mouth! I screamed in pain,"You told me that your dog is not a 'biter'...I can't believe you'd say that when you knew that I'd get bit!" "I told ya' right," she fired back..."this here's my neighbor's dog...mine's a little Pekingese...now take a hike, ya' twit!