Inner Turmoil,,Maybe
I watch closer
as it's a hard time to feel lonely
I come back to a bad home
that smells rot
I smile as if nothing happened
like the voices weren't raised
like snide remarks weren't heard
like it's all forgotten.
I struggle through the pressure of consumption
I am caught in the riptide of my mess
I wonder if he loves me
I wonder if he doesn't
I sleep through the pain
as my mind scrawls a vivid love story on the rusty chambers of my sinking heart
I wish for a new process
New holidays, new traditions
Old friends, new fiends
New lover, same scars
I wish to walk out with my head high
I wish to stand up for what I'm worth
I wish for a place of no hatred, no bigotry
I wish to break out from the bottomless void of my mind
I am sick of others stealing reasons from me
not anymore.
I follow the sun
I am warm
I am harsh
I am lovely.
Copyright © Jeevika Rani | Year Posted 2020
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