Notes About The Poem

Image result for close up male hazel eyes

Indian Summer Eyes

Indian summer lies within your autumn hazel eyes,
my velvet bloom vibrant now lost after your killing frost;
love lingers in bereft fingers, I stroke your face in guise,
once lustrous, amaranthine heart lies bleeding in exhaust.

My velvet bloom vibrant now lost after your killing frost,
your chill withered russet my enchanted efflorescence;
once lustrous, amaranthine heart lies bleeding in exhaust,
as you disperse in scarlet moonlighting vaporescence.

Your chill, withered russet my enchanted efflorescence,
blue breath exhaled... my cooling mood still hangs in our mid-air;
as you disperse in scarlet moonlighting vaporescence,
your affair concupiscent more than my bemoan can bear.

Blue... breath exhaled, my cooling mood still hangs in our mid-air,
my harvested heart-ache, my heart-break, my heart-feeling weep~
your affair concupiscent more than my bemoan can bear,
into all my tomorrows tears of my sorrow shall seep.

My harvested heart-ache, my heart-break, my heart-feeling weep,
amaranth once fertile, frost-bitten, fading everyday;
into all my tomorrows, tears of my sorrow shall seep
despite your warmth, light of day and hoarfrost melting display.

Amaranth once fertile, frost-bitten!  Fading everyday,
love lingers in bereft fingers.  I stroke your face in guise;
despite your warmth, light of day and hoarfrost melting display,
Indian summer - lies! - within your autumn hazel eyes.


Susan Ashley
October 8, 2017


~ Third Place~
Contest: Mid October Premiere 
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Raven Avatar
January 17, 2019 at 4:31 PM
Hi Susan, what plaudits do sing when you write your exceptional Pantoum, for exceptional they are. You write these Pantoum with such beautiful flow. They touch the heart with such gentle caress and they bring forth emotion. This is an excellent write from a special poet who lets her heart sing. It is always a pleasure and an honour to drop by and read your wonderful poetry. This is not an easy form to do and you make your words sing on a sigh. Have a wonderful Friday. Hugs....Mike. XX
Ashley Avatar
January 22, 2019 at 9:05 PM
My dear friend, your generous and glowing comments are such a joy and an honor to receive. I love the Pantoum form, Mike, and it pleases me immensely to know that you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your inspiring sentiments and for your uplifting presence and cherished friendship. Warmest wishes always my wonderful friend.. ~Susan
Allison Avatar
April 12, 2018 at 5:51 PM
An absolutely beautiful pantoum Susan I love reading but also writing this challenging form, you are such a gifted writer:-) hugs jan xx
Ashley Avatar
April 12, 2018 at 6:29 PM
Jan, as a fan of your gifted poetic writes, your words of praise mean more to me than you can imagine. I cherish your comments and truly appreciate you time to leave your wonderful words that touch my heart. Thank you my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Callus Avatar
November 16, 2017 at 4:19 PM
This is a beautiful Pantoum, Susan. Poetically expressed; great choice of vocabulary; overall technical ability. Full marks to you! Regards // paul
Ashley Avatar
November 16, 2017 at 8:31 PM
Paul, your positive and enthusiastic response to my poem thrills me! Your precious appreciation and lovely words are gratefully received and I thank you for your kindness and the smile you inspired on my face.. Thank you! Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Gondolf Avatar
October 30, 2017 at 4:55 AM
I love this poem, Susan, you are such a gifted writer. John
Ashley Avatar
October 30, 2017 at 6:42 PM
John, I'm so happy that we share a love of this poem. This write is very special to me... I so appreciate your glowing compliment and generously warmhearted comment. Your appreciation for my poem and your thoughts shared with me fill me pride and happiness. My very warmest regards always.. ~Susan
Hamilton Avatar
October 27, 2017 at 10:28 PM
This write is stunning Susan, a pantoum with such unique phrasing, and your word selection is off the charts, nice to see a free flowing poem with no syllable count fixation, double congrats are in order I see, very worthy write!
Ashley Avatar
October 28, 2017 at 2:35 PM
Ohhh, I did not know that..! Thank you so much for the surprising news and the congrats... ~Susan
Hamilton Avatar
October 28, 2017 at 12:34 PM
The other congrats is breaking into the top 10 best poems for the month, number 7 impressive. In my two years here have not accomplished that...yet!
Ashley Avatar
October 27, 2017 at 10:37 PM
John, it's always such a pleasure and a highlight to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your esteemed and cherished thoughts with me, your opinion I so value. I'm so happy you enjoyed my pantoum and I appreciate so much your generous comment. Just a single congrats in order though... this got NA'd in the Write Me A Pantoum Contest :( But I was very proud to get 3rd place in the Mid October Premiere Contest :)) My warmest regards!
Bateman Avatar
October 27, 2017 at 5:55 AM
Hello Susan, Thanks for your comment on my recent Visions from Beyond. The Pantoum format is a quite challenging form. (I wrote one of these early-on, but I want do more of them in the future.) Your result here with Indian Summer Eyes is quite excellent. The words and images of each one of your six stanzas literally pulled me into the essence of the poem. Enjoyed this one very much. Congratulations on your Contest Win!! A FAVE TOO FROM ME!! Best Always, Gary
Ashley Avatar
October 27, 2017 at 3:40 PM
Gary, I receive your generous and beautiful comment with humble appreciation and pride. Thank you so much for sharing your esteemed thoughts with me, for your warmhearted congrats and for the fave. With warmest regards.. ~Susan
Robinson Jr. Avatar
October 25, 2017 at 4:09 PM
Simply beautiful, Susan! Great expressive lines throughout ... into all my tomorrows tears of sorrow shall seep. Golden stroked poetry. Love and joy always.
Ashley Avatar
October 25, 2017 at 9:28 PM
Freddie, your appreciation for my poem thrills me. Thank you for your time to visit, comment so beautifully and share your precious thoughts with me. Your opinion I highly value my friend. Love and joy always to you as well! ~Susan
Michaels Avatar
October 24, 2017 at 2:37 AM
Evocative and enchanting write, packed with metaphors, conveying that keenly-felt sense of loss. Congratulations on your high-placed win! Regards, John.
Ashley Avatar
October 24, 2017 at 1:22 PM
John, I thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment so generously and beautifully on my poem. I so appreciate your wonderful visit and warmhearted words of congrats. My warmest regards.. ~Susan
Fleming Avatar
October 18, 2017 at 9:40 AM
Quite obviously the "Pantoum" structure of verse is, to say the least, rather rigorous...I have read a lot of completely botched attempts. This, however, Susan, is a very fine attempt - most impressed! Beautiful lines throughout -- a veritable joy to read! My very warmest regards, Susan. :) john
Ashley Avatar
October 18, 2017 at 8:53 PM
Hi John, your positive feedback about my poem thrills me, I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poem and share your heartfelt thoughts with me. Much appreciation for your very kind words. My very warmest regards, John. ~Susan
Chaudhary Avatar
October 17, 2017 at 10:12 PM
Susan, very beautiful. Nice choice of words. Your beautiful words make the poem fantastic. Thank you for sharing.
Ashley Avatar
October 18, 2017 at 8:49 PM
Thank you Harshita for your really lovely comment. I so appreciate your time to read my poem and share your thoughts with me. I'm so very happy that you enjoyed it. Many many thanks! ~Susan
Haight Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 10:13 AM
Susan, congratulations on your fine podium win in this Premiere Contest! Such a magnificent and beautiful Pantoum! Hugs, Sandra
Ashley Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 7:55 PM
Sandra, your kind praise means so much to me coming from such a fine poetess like yourself, whose work I greatly admire. Thank you for your lovely visit and wonderful comment. Hugs... ~Susan
Kendrick Avatar
October 14, 2017 at 2:13 PM
Creative work in this pantoum..I enjoyed reading your love lost work..Sad..Thanks for dropping by..Sara
Ashley Avatar
October 14, 2017 at 9:06 PM
It pleases me so very much Sara to know you enjoyed my poem! Thank you for reading and so kindly commenting on my sad Pantoum of love lost.., it means a lot to me as I highly regard your poetic talent. I hope you are having a lovely weekend!
Barden Avatar
October 13, 2017 at 10:53 PM
Gorgeous and very intelligent Pantoum, Susan - exquisite phrasing - love it! Congrats on your win! :-)
Ashley Avatar
October 14, 2017 at 9:30 AM
Gregory, your appreciation for my poem means so very much to me. I treasure your sentiments immensely and it thrills me to know that you enjoyed this write. Thank you for your wonderful visit, your lovely words and the congrats! ~Susan
Dietrich Avatar
October 13, 2017 at 12:04 PM
I am reading the comments beneath and yes, you did a wow pantoum here, Susan. Congrats on your well deserved contest win!
Ashley Avatar
October 13, 2017 at 7:42 PM
Hi Andrea, thank you for your valued words of kindness and congrats. I so appreciate your visit and your wonderfully lovely comment. ~ Susan
Gupta Avatar
October 13, 2017 at 7:42 AM
Lavishly flowing Pantoum ... The very first line is so striking ...Though I would have preferred Indian autumn ... a lyrical flow and melody you have so nicely put into it the poem ... Great ... Good Luck with the contest ...
Ashley Avatar
October 13, 2017 at 1:43 PM
Probir, thank you for your lush appreciation of my poem. I cherish your heartfelt words of praise and I relish in the knowledge that you enjoyed my write. It fills me with much gratitude and pride when you comment on my poetry my friend. Warmest regards always! ~ Susan
One Avatar
October 10, 2017 at 10:42 AM
Your pantoum flows a lot better Susan, it was very good before and even better now..
Ashley Avatar
October 10, 2017 at 10:48 AM
I really appreciate your time for the re-read and wonderful critique Silent One. Many thanks and warmest regards always! Susan
One Avatar
October 9, 2017 at 11:20 AM
wow.. What an amazing pantoum!!! These are really difficult to do.. You have done it so poetically, with some amazing verses.. I always like to challenge myself with syllable restrictions, which can take out the poetic nature of the poem.. I posted one today, with music lyrics..
Ashley Avatar
October 9, 2017 at 11:32 AM
It is with great appreciation Silent One that I read your lovely words. It pleases me immensely that you enjoyed my pantoum. Thank you for your visit and beautiful comment. I was just going to comment on yours because I've read it a few times and was awed.., I too usually try to use a strict syllable count but lately I've loosened up a bit to embrace the poetic nature more fully. ~ Susan
Vaso Avatar
October 8, 2017 at 7:49 PM
I really enjoyed this read, and thankfully this year we are having an Indian Summer!
Ashley Avatar
October 8, 2017 at 8:41 PM
It pleases me Arthur that you enjoyed reading my poem. It is with appreciation that I read your kind words. Thank you for your visit and your wonderful comment. ~ Susan
Michael Avatar
October 8, 2017 at 7:24 PM
You've got a heart as deep as the deepest ocean..."Into all my tomorrows' torrid tears of my sorrow shall seep, Despite your light of day warmth" That line sparked my imagination...Good night Susan
Ashley Avatar
October 8, 2017 at 8:30 PM
It's with great appreciation always Arturo that I read your lovely and thoughtful comments. It pleases me that you enjoy my poetry as I surely enjoy your poetry too. I'm glad that your imagination was sparked, maybe we'll all see a new wonderful poem from you tomorrow. That would be fantastic, as always. Enjoy your evening my friend! :) ~ Susan
Pandit Avatar
October 8, 2017 at 4:45 PM
Very delightful poem--well chosen words flow beautifully to describe the nature and its effects on life and love--best for a win, Susan!
Ashley Avatar
October 8, 2017 at 8:23 PM
Thank you so much Vijay for your wonderful words and you kind visit. It pleases me that you enjoyed. I don't know yet if I will enter this in the contest. Still thinking about it... Susan
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