In His Laugh
In the shadows of my mind
There is a memory of you, laughing
Despite the pain that hung like a curtain
Shading the windows of your heart,
Stopping the light who glistened
Just beyond your feelings,
Where doubt told you to disregard
The gentle touch of its shafts,
Promising energies that would silence
All the grief that followed you
In my memory, you are laughing
But it is a sham, filled with false promises,
Forged in pain and counterfeit like the summer
Who can’t last, who will move into autumn’s bleakness
Despite all the flowers who bloom with such joy,
The picnics and barbecues, the reminders
That every moment is a treasure,
Blessing those who know that summer itself
Will not last and is a blessing to be thankful to know
Even though autumn is fast approaching
In the days before your death
You were like a fast approaching autumn,
Dressed in laughter and promising to listen
To my encouragement, the praise and support,
Like tokens of my love on display – yet
You were still dependent on the feeling, kneeling
To the bottle, the pill – abusing your body
And your bogus laugh told the story of doubt
That you would ever find your way out of the habit
Before autumn claimed you and then…
Death whispered your name
Before I had the chance to say I love you – once again
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