In His Laugh

In the shadows of my mind There is a memory of you, laughing Despite the pain that hung like a curtain Shading the windows of your heart, Stopping the light who glistened Just beyond your feelings, Where doubt told you to disregard The gentle touch of its shafts, Promising energies that would silence All the grief that followed you In my memory, you are laughing But it is a sham, filled with false promises, Forged in pain and counterfeit like the summer Who can’t last, who will move into autumn’s bleakness Despite all the flowers who bloom with such joy, The picnics and barbecues, the reminders That every moment is a treasure, Blessing those who know that summer itself Will not last and is a blessing to be thankful to know Even though autumn is fast approaching In the days before your death You were like a fast approaching autumn, Dressed in laughter and promising to listen To my encouragement, the praise and support, Like tokens of my love on display – yet You were still dependent on the feeling, kneeling To the bottle, the pill – abusing your body And your bogus laugh told the story of doubt That you would ever find your way out of the habit Before autumn claimed you and then… Death whispered your name Before I had the chance to say I love you – once again