In Good Conscience

IN GOOD CONSCIENCE
Heavily tread, are those small fractious steps On the stairs to my own peace of mind The sound of transgressions that I'd rather forget is the pounding of a most clamorous kind The dialogue I'm having, within my own self drums on the door of the closed minded truth I try to rewrite scripts, shoving back on the shelf But the turbulence shakes them loose No matter, how buried, how deep I will hide them My conscience can shovel them out That child inside me, denies what was done then But can't deafen the voices that shout I profess to regret many sins I've committed The most difficult task is one of admitting
__________________________________ Revised 4/6/13__ __________________________________ (Original Poem....Diminished Hexaverse) MY CONSCIENCE heavy on the stairs the sound of my thoughts- my own voice resounds and pounds on my door of solitary the dialogue within myself never perjured is translucent I profess to launder past regrets if stains can be cleansed _____________ 2/14/11 ___________________________________________________________ Both poems submitted for Roy Jerden's Contest: "Makeover"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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Lindley Avatar
April 19, 2015 at 2:00 PM
Sorry that I am so late on the congrats, just recently found out the contest was finalized.. Big congrats on your win!!
A   Avatar
April 18, 2015 at 5:28 PM
Wonderful win... Linda
Haight Avatar
April 14, 2015 at 5:23 PM
Carrie, congratulations on your win in the makeover contest! I really like both, but your revision is excellent! The message in your Sonnet is one we can all relate to. Hugs, Sandra
Guzzi Avatar
April 13, 2015 at 7:45 PM
I love both but the original leaves more hooks for the reader to paint themselves and their own issues into the picture. Congrad's on your winning verse! Light & Love
Canama Avatar
April 13, 2015 at 2:58 AM
Great poem! It is more profound and inspiring. Congrats, Carrie!
Jerden Avatar
April 12, 2015 at 6:33 PM
Carrie, I guess I wasn't paying attention. I thought the second poem was the one revised for the contest as it is at the bottom, as the rules specify. That's the one I like better. Now I'm not sure exactly what is going on, as the previous comments from 2013 imply that there were two poems already at that time. Did you revise anything for this contest?
Richards Avatar
April 12, 2015 at 7:36 PM
And thank you, Roy, I am always redoing, and trying to better my poems, it is always a work in progress.
Richards Avatar
April 12, 2015 at 7:32 PM
So sorry for the confusion, Roy, and yes, this is a poem I wrote a long time ago, revised once for Debbie, and then redid the wording altogether in the Diminished hexaverse version for yours. It has had more makeovers than myself... But I can see I should have used another poem for a makeover this time perhaps....trying to get blood out of an old turnip !
A   Avatar
May 1, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Carrie, i like your winning poem in Debbie's contest... take care..PD
Kendrick Avatar
April 27, 2013 at 5:35 AM
Great winning work..It always amazes me that God has already forgiven us but we can't forgive ourself of transgressions..Great work..Congrats..Sara
Oyewole Avatar
April 26, 2013 at 12:03 AM
Big Congrats on your win Carrie~A.O
Lamoureux Avatar
April 25, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Well done, congratulations.
Guzzi Avatar
April 25, 2013 at 3:35 PM
Aren't we all different [I hate brevity LOL hugs to Kathy] and I have to tell you that second one is killer good.And you too know Deb likes her sonnets! Congrad's on your win. Light & Love
Delaney Avatar
April 25, 2013 at 1:45 PM
Congratulations Carrie Each poem clarifies the other. SuZ
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
April 25, 2013 at 10:08 AM
Many congratulations Carrie luv , well done
Collins Avatar
April 13, 2013 at 8:22 AM
Carrie - How fortunate for me I read these wonderful works which mirror me in all ways. Your style of expressing these thoughts in such beauty is superb. I think I'm partial to the first one because I am a great fan of brevity. One stands alone without the other is a glories message. love, Kathy
Dietrich Avatar
April 8, 2013 at 6:29 PM
yep, this is an excellent example of a metamorph that got even better!!
Delaney Avatar
April 8, 2013 at 11:11 AM
an excellent metamorph...aren't these contests addictive?
Horsman Avatar
April 8, 2013 at 3:35 AM
spoilt for choice love both of these Carrie,, but i also love sonnets and wow this is good...
Jones Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 8:12 PM
Very awesome Carrie....admitting you are human requires no regrets though...hope you are not being hard on yourself....you are sweet.....Donna
Guzzi Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Carrie dear I DO like the sonnet better, how about you? which do you like better? PS ;) Thanks so much for stopping by my verses. Light & Love
Williams Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 7:44 AM
carrie love both of these,one of the best I have read for the contest, good luck...David
A   Avatar
April 6, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Carrie, i love the way you beautifully transformed the poem. But, somehow I love the first one you wrote. a good conscience should always stay clean... always~ Linda
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