I'M Listening

Right, I’ve taken what you said on board, and I spoke to Lynn, and she’s definitely up for it. Okay love. Up for what, why does she talk to me when I’m watching the football. Who the hell is Lynn. Okay, fumble along and find out what the hell she’s talking about. I mean, you would never have guessed Alan and Lynn were that way inclined. Alan and Lynn, that’s the boring bastards who garden all day. He does flowers, she does vegetables. Rebels without a cos. What the hell would we be doing with them. So we’ve booked the hotel for this Friday. Christ, she’s booked a garden convention, a weekend away with plant pots. What the hell is wrong with that woman. Lynn says they do it all time, she says we’ll love it. That’s great love, can’t wait. Okay, I’ll need to fake a heart attack, the thought of a weekend with Bill and Ben is just too much to take. I’ve told Lynn you like black underwear and stockings. She says that’s great, she loves dressing up. Fecksakes, they’re swingers, the boring bastards are swingers. I know I said our love life was boring, but for Christ sakes, not Bill and Ben. How the hell do I get out of this. Lynn says Alan loves nurses, so I’ve bought a nurse's uniform. Listen, love, I don’t want Alan to see you in a nurse's uniform. I love you too much to share you with another guy. You really haven’t got a clue. What. What did I say to you earlier? You said you spoke to Lynn. No, I didn’t, I said my mum was coming to stay for the week. We’re definitely not going swinging with Bill and Ben. Do I look like I do swinging, this is what I keep nagging you about, you don’t listen to a word I say? Right, I think I’ve learned my lesson, when’s your mum coming. This Friday. That’s great, look forward to it. The mother-in-law, or the vegetable woman in stockings. Choices, choices.