Jan Allison Poet Limerick

Notes About The Poem

I'M a Gas - It's Official -

An ultrasound scan of my tum
Showed lots of foul gas soon will come
I try to hold it in
But much to my chagrin
Foul farts are shooting from my bum

I could give up on veggies and sprouts
Lush fried onions in large amounts
I do farts loud and quiet
But I won’t alter my diet
My doctor says good fibre counts

Some veggies don’t agree with me
They make me fart so frequently
My hubby doesn’t mind
Thank goodness he’s kind
I have got a big problem you see

You could call me a flatulent lass
Foul wind’s shooting out of my ass
I admit I’ve been windy
Can’t blame our dog Mindy
My doctor says Jan it will pass

A somewhat tongue in cheek poem... but I had an ultrasound last week to check for ovarian cancer as my stomach had been bloated for several weeks... the result of the scan is a cyst on my kidney and ‘lots of gas’ in my stomach which i do not expel in public lol. My doctor is happy I follow a high fibre diet and I think things will get better once I stop eating sprouts lol

* we don't have a dog!

12/09/20

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Mark Koplin December 15, 2020 at 8:03 AM I do love your poo humor! Funny stuff Jan!!

Michelle Faulkner December 14, 2020 at 8:11 PM You do fart and poop poems better than anyone, Jan!

Caren Krutsinger December 13, 2020 at 4:49 PM It's Mindy! It is ALWAYS Mindy! Look at how guilty she looks! Funny Jan.

Joseph May December 11, 2020 at 5:19 PM If you have gas it's got to pass!

Jack Horne December 10, 2020 at 12:51 PM ROFL, thanks for all the chuckles here - so glad all was well, my friend x

FJ Thomas December 10, 2020 at 11:27 AM Well I'm glad it's not cancer! You are a nut Jan! Lolol

Regina Mcintosh December 10, 2020 at 4:52 AM This is so adorable !!! You are such a hoot. God bless you always

Paul Callus December 10, 2020 at 2:35 AM A round of applause for showing us how to tackle a serious topic with wit and humour, Jan. This is very entertaining, even though you turned the sound off :) :) Hugs // paul

Lindsay Laurie December 9, 2020 at 9:09 PM G’day Jan … did you have to ride in a crowded elevator? If you did, I’ll bet you couldn’t wipe the smile off you face - still grinning Jan - Lindsay

Andrea Dietrich December 9, 2020 at 2:49 PM hahaha that last phrase was priceless. You made great humor out of your "condition" I sometimes do little toots jumping on my trampoline. Never happened when I was young!! I must eat right because rarely they smell. haha.

Ann Gilmour December 9, 2020 at 2:23 PM Hahaha I am so pleased there is nothing too serious Jan ~ great news, shame you can't blame the dog... Keep well my friend with love and hugs Ann xx

Ilene Bauer December 9, 2020 at 2:18 PM this is hilarious, jan! glad to hear that your problem isn't serious. isn't it great to have a husband who is so supportive?

Alexis Y. December 9, 2020 at 12:13 PM Lol! Jan, I'm happy it's nothing serious! You would find humor out of the whole ordeal. I need to be more like you. These Limericks are funny by the way. Enjoy the rest of your day:-) Alexis

Tom Cunningham December 9, 2020 at 12:08 PM I've heard the IOM can be quite windy at times, now I know why. Lol Your secrets safe Jan. Tom

Carolyn Devonshire December 9, 2020 at 11:11 AM Leave it to you to make us laugh about your "medical problem." :) I should have seen this one coming! Hilarious, Hon. Sometimes I think people purposely try to mislead us by blaming their dogs. Veggies can do this! I have a problem with broccoli, especially when it's not cooked. Great work! Hugs, Carolyn

Terry Flood December 9, 2020 at 11:03 AM Gaaaarhh.... stop eating sprouts?!!! It’s Christmas... how you gonna do that?! Good laugh Jan. Terry

Rico Leffanta December 9, 2020 at 10:42 AM One of the things you should have noticed on your walks is that herbivores fart, and excel at very stinky ones! So lose the veggies and eat meat as that will make your husband VERY happy! Aloha! Rico