Illness

This is bad. My heart, it’s aching. Why? Sick. I’m sick and that’s why my chest hurts. Seeing him with someone else isn’t my problem. She looks nice, she’ll be good to him. No. He looks happy though. No. This is bad. I can’t say anything to him. He said he didn’t remember what happened. Try again. Don’t think about him. Let him go. Find a girlfriend. That’s what they want from me. But you aren’t happy that way. Remember Natalie? Stop. This is wrong. I am a man who is looking for a woman. Mom keeps asking and I’m tired of lying. So you give up your happiness for Mother? Everyone will be happy. I will learn to be happy. You are a bad liar. I’m sick. Not gay. I am not gay. I do not love him.