Icu

i harbor my hope in the spaces between your fingers. like light falling slowly and then all at once, upon docked ship straining for sea, upon moonlit water wishing it was more like the others wishing it could see the stars. you looked down as i cried, and i smiled because i knew the world was watching me fall apart. did you know i had become it all for you, let searing universes burn beneath my skin, how long have i only been built from your memories i wouldn’t know. swallow and carry on, heave it over your shoulder, act like nothing at all, make yourself insignificant. this world will never cherish naive grins with crooked teeth. instead i befriend gentle small sliver of the moon, sputtering satellite deciding she is pretty enough to be like the others, lonely star sailors that form shapes only we thought to name. strange chattering night, i feel my youth in my bones, will you stand next to me one last time and watch the sky fall crashing burning breathing have you ever felt so alive?