I Went Shopping For My Sister - Both Audio and Text

I ducked into a Mega-Mart last night to grab some items my pregnant sister, Phyllis, needed bad. She’d just got off a plane and wasn’t feeling very well, so I had left her home with Mom and Dad. At thirty-five and single, I have done my share of shopping there, so naturally, I knew my way around, And even though the store is huge, because I go there often, I know where almost everything is found. While strolling passed the toiletries, I saw this gorgeous woman that very nearly took my breath away. And I’ll admit - for just a sec - I slipped into a stupor when she revolved her cart to walk my way. With piercing eyes of azure blue and long blonde, silky hair, I almost had a stroke when - as she passed - She asked me, “Hey there, handsome…tell me…do you come here often?” And at a loss for words - but thinking fast - I answered, “Yes, I do,” and as a ploy to get acquainted - added quickly…just to make her stop… “In fact, unlike a lot of guys - who make their women do it - I actually think it’s kinda fun to shop!” Pausing - as I’d hoped she would - and grinning ear to ear, she softly said…“I like the sound o’ that. I’m looking for “cosmetics,” she continued...“I was wond’ring…can you possibly tell me where they’re at?” “What a weird coincidence,” I cheerfully replied, “that’s actually where I’m headed for right now!” (Giddy with excitement, I knew well - to “break the ice” - that guiding her around was one way how.) But as I turned to lead the way, I noticed that her eyes were briefly drawn toward what was in my cart. Her look of shock confused me, and the glare of cold disdain that followed it would give me quite a start! Her bolting off in what appeared - disgust, seemed really weird. Her attitude I could not figure out. I contemplated everything - in hopes of understanding what her strange behavior was about. Since everything thus far - that I had loaded in my cart - was for my sister… you know....female things… Maybe she’d deduced that she and I could not be friends…or wind up, down the road, exchanging rings. Puzzled by the way she’d left, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Could the answer lie in what I’d said?” Scanning once again what I was purchasing - for Phyllis…I failed to find a thing that should have led To how she had reacted…and it nearly drove me nuts to not know why she’d stormed off in a huff. Moments later…all done shopping…standing there in line…anticipating paying for my stuff… The clerk - who started blushing when she glanced to view my items - knowing by my obviously-baffled frown That I had no idea at all that…….what was wrong was wrong…..discreetly whispered...“Sir......your zipper’s down!”