I Used To Be A Jumper In My Doc Marten Boots

I used to jump from aeroplanes Naked With nothing But a parachute A prayer And a pair of Doc Marten boots I've landed in some strange places Once in a chair Once or twice in the mud A Woman once I said will you? She said no! But she meant yes I guess? One time I fell through a roof And landed in someone's bed! The husband wasn't very pleased I can't repeat what he said But I learned a few new words Once I fell into a hole Then I realised someone had died I couldn't wait to get out As shouted'',Help!!!!''. I fell in a well Well that's another story To tell I even landed in a stolen car But I didn't get far I once dropped into a giant cooking pot ouch!! Boy, it was hot! One time in a church The Vicar said ''Do you''? I said I do Two sugars no milk, please I was awarded a medal, with a pin But it gave me an infection And ended up in a hospital bed Got really ill and had to stay in I had to stop parachuting But I still have my Doc Marten boots Don't dare tell you where I hanged them from Ahh, life's full of surprises I think, I'll buy a Army tank See where that gets me.