I Swear, Your Honor - I Was Duped

“Well, Your Honor, it’s like this: I was totally shocked when I found out these fools had robbed that bank! All I did was drive the van, and now I’ve got these jerks - who used me like a stupid pawn - to thank “For being in this awful mess. I swear to you it’s true…they tricked me into helping them that day. Never once did I suspect that I was being used to help them crazy suckers - ‘get away’! “I was told to, ‘fill the tank - keep the motor running - and leave the doors unlocked’ – a simple task… But I became a bit unnerved when Jim said, ‘Put this on’, and handed me - a Ronald Reagan mask! “But, being Halloween, I figured, why not play along, the rest of them were donning masks as well. Unbeknownst to me, of course, their plan was underway, but I was too preoccupied to tell. “Only now I realize that picking which to hit was something that the others left to Bob. I figured he was joking when he’d said, “That bank in Oxford sure would be an easy one to rob!” “Thinking we were headed for the Oxford House Cafe, I was not suspicious with the stop, But felt a chill when Don said, ‘Guys, I checked, and...sure enough…the town of Oxford doesn’t have a cop!’ “That’s when Mike said, “Listen Mark, we're all in need of cash, so all of us are going in with sacks. Then - when we come out - there won’t be any time to lose.’ We’re counting on you, Mark…for making tracks! Then Dick explained, “I promised Ann we’d pick her up at six, and being there on time will be a trick. Sorry...ain’t no time for burgers. Gotta really fly…and we’ll be back, I promise you…real quick!’" "Just so happened Sheriff Wilkes - who knew my custom van - had swung in by my door to have a chat. Knowing I hung out with Jim and Bob - Dick, Mike an' Don - he asked me where the five of them were at. "Hardly had a second past when, through the van’s side door - each with several sacks of stolen dough - Dove those five, and Bob exploded, ‘What the hell ya’ doin’....head for Jimmy’s hideout, damn it…GO! "Just outside my window, Sheriff Wilkes could easily tell what was going on, and…that was that! Now the whole damn bunch of us are headed off to prison - simply ‘cause - a trooper stopped to chat!” "Guess when I attempted to explain the Reagan mask…he didn’t take the bait about - ‘a prank’… And figured I was lyin’ when I claimed I didn’t know the five of them was gonna rob that bank!