I Must Improvise Always

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I wrote this today after spending hours with a grief-stricken child whose mother died unexpectedly last night. The child is five, and if you are a praying person, please pray for her.

Others know what they are doing. I don’t. They plan ahead. I don’t. They like paperwork. Ha! Others are confident. Until they aren’t. Others think they know more than a lot of us. Especially me. Until death happens. Or fear happens or funerals happen And they fall apart. Suddenly They turn to me. Thinking I know what I am doing. Every death is different. Every funeral is different. Every feeling is different with each one. At this second I know I must improvise, but pretend I do know, so I do not scare the ones who have no one else to turn to. At this point there is only me. I am the expert in feelings. Weird since I was never allowed to have any as a child. Others know what they are doing. Others are confident about it. I am not. I do not. But I know how to love. I know how to hug. I know how to sit silently and not give advice. It seems to be enough.

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David Mchattie

Date: 5/1/2019 5:44:00 PM

I can't begin to imagine the loss the poor child is feeling. I can only hope there is a family and friends to support and tell them how precious they are. Stay strong my friend.

Caren Krutsinger
Date: 5/1/2019 11:52:00 PM

It was pretty traumatic for her, but not as much as it would have been for a child who fully understands. She told me that death means "you are going to the hospital, and will be back later."

James Edward Lee Sr.

Date: 5/1/2019 12:09:00 PM

Beautiful sincere true verse..Warmest prayers to the child and family. As Connie stated Mommy knows.. more important God knows He will not put no more than we can bare... within Him we CAN handle all things...Peace released. Blessings to the little one...

Caren Krutsinger
Date: 5/1/2019 2:36:00 PM

Thank you James. I appreciate your lovely comment.

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 5/1/2019 8:29:00 AM

You know exactly what to do Caren. Let her know Mommy can see everything she is doing and will always be watching over her. She has my warmest prayers. xxoo

Caren Krutsinger
Date: 5/1/2019 2:36:00 PM

Thank you Connie. I appreciate your wonderfulness, my friend.