Cynthia Valentine Poet ABC

I Lie

This is a moment of truth
A time to be set free 
From the thoughts that resides in me
Am tired of crying myself to sleep 
For all the secrets i had to keep 
   Turning an twisting every night 
Everyday was a fight for my life 
Pretending that am ok 
When am being broken down every day 
  Thinking suicide half of the time  
Putting on a smile 
Lying an saying am fine 
When am dying inside 
    Cuts upon risk 
Hiding the fact that i do this 
  Letting all my emotions slide 
Pushing it behind 
Although its eating me alive 
   Yes i lie not once or twice 
But so many times 
    Don't want u looking at me a type of way 
So i lie saying am okay

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Constance La France January 19, 2018 at 9:55 PM Cynthia, your poem touched my soul deeply, I want you to know that I have been where you are, I lost everything and had to claw my way out of the dark, I did it and you can too! You have a gift, the gift of writing, don't give up "this too shall pass . . . "

Rob Carmack January 15, 2018 at 2:54 PM My best advice to you, is to find Christ. Even if you don't believe, pray to him. If you won't or can't, then consider secular treatments. They say that medications combined with seeing a therapist is the best for dealing with depression. If these treatments are not available, then like the others stated below, try to find someone to talk to. I would also advise researching some coping strategies online.

Silent One January 15, 2018 at 4:38 AM Heartbreaking poem Cynthia, I hope you can talk to someone about your feelings, it always helps to express yourself.. No one should be alone when they are feeling like this and its natural sometimes to have such feelings.. I hope you have friends or family there to reach out too.. Poetry is a great way to express yourself and I hope those close to you read this..

Jan Terry January 15, 2018 at 12:05 AM Hello, Cynthia. Just finished reading all your posted poems. Some are very sad, indeed. You express your feelings very well. I am glad you are sharing your thoughts with us on Poetrysoup. You are not alone. We hear you and support you on your life's journey. Some of us have similar stories and have found comfort in each other. I would love to give you a hug but just know that I care about you. Sending my love your way. Janece

Carole Duet January 14, 2018 at 11:36 PM P.S. I lie too. We all do but it's good to find someone you can unburden your heart to. So, I would like to encourage you to do that. I did. Believe me, it helps.

Carole Duet January 14, 2018 at 11:31 PM Hi Cynthia! I'm sorry that you are apparently very depressed and I just wanted you to know that many of us (me included) have been there but as a friend told me, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". Just hang in there, girl. Things will get better. Say your prayers and I will pray for you too. Sending you lots and lots of love....Carole

Andrea Dietrich January 14, 2018 at 7:44 PM Soupmail, Cynthia.