I just want warmth

I messed up again. Chased something that felt like love but never really was. It was heat, not warmth— a quick fix, a moment where I didn’t feel alone. I lost people. Friends stopped calling. Family stopped trying. And honestly, I get it. They were tired of watching me fall for the same lie over and over. I keep saying I’ll change. But how? No one teaches you how to fill the empty parts without breaking more things. I just wanted someone to look at me like I mattered. To touch me like I wasn’t broken. But now I’m here, more alone than ever. And I don’t even know who I was trying to be. I only know I don’t want to be this forever.