I Grow Down

its not you its me , its not you it is me , we all find this a trick , but if you where me you'd understand in what makes me tick , no, its not you its me , it is all me , this is no lie , this is nor line , we try to play make believe , putting on a front that shouldn't ever be shown , i try to hide my pain , its not , you its me, i hope one day you notice how true these words are , i am the roots to a tree , i do not grow up , but only feel dirt is all over me , stuck in the dark , stuck in my head , most of all each day i feel i cant breath, i try to understand whats up or down , but only misery twirls in this dumb blonde head , and all I'm fed is unrealistic optimism , its is a paste that fills my mouth so eventually no words are allowed to come out,I'm not one to seek misery loves company , if one thing i know, i prefer to be alone so no one sees how much i am suffering , its not you its me i hope you can see , i am not near this physical form , looking in the mirror just makes me hate myself more , when i know I'm being looked at the more i know i exist , its not you its is me , for such reasons you do look as if you can love me