I Forgive You Mom, Forgive Me

My mother died young, she was only sixty-nine, we had a history that was not always wonderful; she said and did things, and I said and did things too, but it did not mean I did not love her because I did. I guess it all started when my sister died as a child, it was hard for me- I stood with mother watching; as the truck hit her, mother screamed and I froze silent, mother did not take me to the funeral- I was hurt. Thought, I would never forgive her for that, 'cause I never had a chance to say goodbye to my sister; I held that all through my teens and twenties acting out, trying my best to hurt her back for forgetting me. I would run away, get into trouble and make her cry, but the one thing I never did was talk to her about it; we went on like this back and forth for many years, I never forgot or forgave- I learned to keep it inside of me. Then, when it was evident mother was dying we finally talked, I told her how I had felt all my life about Susan's death; how all the things I did were to punish and hurt her- we cried, she said to me, "I was wrong, I should have taken you." She went on to say that she thought I was too young, we talked a lot about a lot of things and said, sorry, sorry; I felt the hurt leaving me and I think I finally grew up, her last words were, I love you- then, she was in a coma. I had to make the decision to turn off life support, it was hard and I pray mother forgives me for doing that; but I knew she would not want to live like a vegetable, so it was done- I had forgiven and been forgiven in the end. _________________________ November 5, 2018 Poetry/Dramatic Verse/I Forgive You Mom, Forgive Me Copyright Protected, ID 18-1083-014-01 All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym. Written for the contest, Someone Forgiven You, When Is The Last Time You've Forgiven sponsor, James Edward Lee Sr. Second Place