I Doubt If I Will Be Needed To Coach
I raised my hand and said I would be a volunteer assistant coach of a girls’ football league in the 80’s.
The night before our first practice, the real coach let me know I would be the coach; he was busy.
I had never seen the game played, and went in fairly blind, believing football was kickball.
As the girls were running onto the field, squealing; men were setting up nets. I had no idea why.
I had read the instruction book cover to cover the night prior to our first game.
This missive emphatically stated no one should kick a ball at another player.
Week after week my girls traveled up and down the field in possession of the ball.
When they looked ready to kick it at the goalie I would yell “NO!” in a loud, mean way.
The parents had a little intervention meeting with me after about the fifteenth game and explained to me why we always lost.
I had no idea prior to this game how the points were scored, wondering why we never won.
I swear, kicking the ball into a net was never part of the instruction in the book I read.
The women started a World Cup sixty years after the men, but I somehow doubt I will be asked to coach.
Written July 2, 2018
For 2018 World Cup Poetry Contest sponsored by Mark Toney
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