I Doubt If I Will Be Needed To Coach

I raised my hand and said I would be a volunteer assistant coach of a girls’ football league in the 80’s. The night before our first practice, the real coach let me know I would be the coach; he was busy. I had never seen the game played, and went in fairly blind, believing football was kickball. As the girls were running onto the field, squealing; men were setting up nets. I had no idea why. I had read the instruction book cover to cover the night prior to our first game. This missive emphatically stated no one should kick a ball at another player. Week after week my girls traveled up and down the field in possession of the ball. When they looked ready to kick it at the goalie I would yell “NO!” in a loud, mean way. The parents had a little intervention meeting with me after about the fifteenth game and explained to me why we always lost. I had no idea prior to this game how the points were scored, wondering why we never won. I swear, kicking the ball into a net was never part of the instruction in the book I read. The women started a World Cup sixty years after the men, but I somehow doubt I will be asked to coach. Written July 2, 2018 For 2018 World Cup Poetry Contest sponsored by Mark Toney