I dont blame her

I dont blame her for how she chose to survive It was never really her choice It was a forced setup A gun forced into our hand To absolve them of guilt But they guide our hands On to the trigger And coax us into pulling it But was it really suicide When the world forced us to hide Threatening to torture us for the rest of our lives So it was never our choice When they put a gun to our head threating to shoot us instead If we didn't put a bullet in our head I blame her for how she survived Killing the parts of herself she loved The parts of herself That embraced her blackness That celebrated her differences in a small minded world I dont blame her for the grief she is feeling I dont blame her for the part of me thats missing I dont blame her surviving something horrific I dont blame her for being her own biggest critic I hope she knows she didn't have to apologise To the lies Concocted by the world in front of her very own eyes It wasn't her fault For the words they spoke The ones that would evoke Unhealthy mechanisms she would use to cope I dont blame her for what she had to do to stay afloat I dont blame her for the lingering trauma The type that would constantly haunt Leaving her forever distraught Like a lump stuck in her throat I dont blame her silence Or her acts of self violence I dont blame how she was born into surviving A world so cut throat That it would tell a black girl She didn't deserve to live All because of her skin I dont blame all the black kids for all of the unspeakable ways we had to fit in