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I dont blame her for how she chose to survive 
It was never really her choice 
It was a forced setup 
A gun forced into our hand 
To absolve them of guilt
But they guide our hands 
On to the trigger 
And coax us into pulling it 
But was it really suicide 
When the world forced us to hide 
Threatening to torture us for the rest of our lives
So it was never our choice 
When they put a gun to our head threating to shoot us instead
If we didn't put a bullet in our head

I blame her for how she survived 
Killing the parts of herself she loved
The parts of herself 
That embraced her blackness
That celebrated her differences in a small minded world 
I dont blame her for the grief she is feeling 
I dont blame her for the part of me thats missing 

I dont blame her surviving something horrific
I dont blame her for being her own biggest critic
I hope she knows she didn't have to apologise 
To the lies 
Concocted by the world in front of her very own eyes
It wasn't her fault 
For the words they spoke 
The ones that would evoke
Unhealthy mechanisms she would use to cope
I dont blame her for what she had to do to stay afloat

I dont blame her for the lingering trauma 
The type that would constantly haunt 
Leaving her forever distraught 
Like a lump stuck in her throat

I dont blame her silence 
Or her acts of self violence 
I dont blame how she was born into surviving 
A world so cut throat
That it would tell a black girl
She didn't deserve to live
All because of her skin

I dont blame all the black kids for all of the unspeakable ways we had to fit in

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