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I Could Not Hold On To You

I could not hold on to you
But oh...how hard I tried
Excavated each forgotten chamber
Of my heart
To find some charm
Some talisman
To cast a spell
And make you mine
Some magic potion
That would make your every night
A “midsummer night’s dream”
Where all is not what it seems
And you are in love with ME
Hanging onto my every word
Infatuated with my every look
Making love with your eyes
I wake from the dream 
I could not hold on to you…

I transformed myself daily
Taking on different roles
A lover
A friend
A mistress
A poetess
An admirer
A dancer
A seductress
A saint
Everything….
To find favor in your eyes
To make you love me
To make you make love to me
I couldn't hold on….

Wispy as a dream
Captivating as the Northern Lights
You dance across my darkest night
Coloring the fibers of my soul
With hues of paradise
Your beauty disrobes me
And I lie down and gaze in awe
Pressed against the ground
I look up at you
Imploring with my eyes
Arms outstretched
I invite…
Wishing you’d flash down
And caress every part
With the rainbow colored fingers
Of your fantasy
Unleased on me
Celestial loving making
My senses etherealized
By your other world eyes
But the heavenly flirtation ends
And I can’t comprehend
Why I couldn't hold on to you…

You...my North Star
My desires guided by the light
But she's reflected in your starry eyes
And you start to fall
Become her shooting star
Crashing into the stratosphere
You burn as you enter
Her atmosphere
Blazing your way through
Friction bursting into flame
You don’t stop
Till you impact her body
With force
Fill her emptiness
With the stardust
Of your soul
I could not hold on to you….

Through my fingers
Through the cracks in my heart
You slip
Sliding carefully through
Taking with you
The best sentiments in me
Drunk on my idolatry
The nectar of my love consumed
Yet still glistening on your lips
The sweetest I could provide
It made you stay for a while
Every tomorrow’s dream
And my every lover’s scheme
Slipped with you through my fingers
I could not hold on to you...

I smile, my pondering through
Refreshed by memory's drops of dew
You’ll come back…You always do
No one else knows how to pleasure you
How to baby you, how to feed
How to give you what you need
Who hears your unspoken requests
And answers before you speak
No one can tempt like I do
Make you a man all brand new
I know it’s true
I smile…
You’ll return
But when you do
Oh sweet dream, sweet fantasy
When you return...
Will you be able to hold on to me?

Eileen Manassian Ghali

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Richard Lamoureux

Date: 7/20/2013 5:02:00 PM

I read the exchange between you and Drake and would like to add my thoughts I have been with my sweetie for 20 years. She has said the reason our relationshi works is that I accept her for who she is. This is true I do not expect her to change and yet she does. I have celebrated each of these changes and watch how she has blossomed. Love requires deliberate attention and I do not feel men are fickle or if they are it is not a quality exclusive to them. That's my say on the subject.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/25/2013 10:50:00 AM

"Men love differently and express differently. The love language may not be perceived by the woman yet it is no less valid or deeply felt"....Yes, Richard...You are right! There are five love languages...the attentive man will learn his wife's love language...and speak to her in it! :)

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/21/2013 5:36:00 PM

Continued. People tend to view things from their own limited perspective me included. For you who are attentive, more so than your spouse it creates a certain bias towards identifying their perspective. Men love differently and express differently. The love language may not be perceived by the woman yet it is no less valid or deeply felt.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/21/2013 5:29:00 PM

Now days there are more and more women engaging in casual relationships. Who are all these fickle guys having relations with. I think it's a human issue not so much man or woman.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/20/2013 9:47:00 PM

Last bit...I promise...where it not for issues of morality and right and wrong that keeps desires and relationships in check...even social norms...I believe men would have no problem with playing the field. More so than women. I still believe that in every relationship...one of the two tends to be more loving, giving, accepting..USUALLY that tends to be the woman! Ok, I'm done. Boy...you sure didn't think you'd get this, did you? ;)

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/20/2013 9:44:00 PM

Conti....it is a known fact that most men can have sexual relationships without the emotional investment. Fidelity, in general, is easier for women because, generally speaking, a woman cannot give herself to a man unless she feels deeply for him. Again, I'm not being prudish...I'm speaking in generalities. Men are more visually stimulated than women...more quickly aroused...all these biological and psychological factors tend to make them less constant than women in their affections.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/20/2013 9:40:00 PM

Richard.. Ah...what can I write? I did say I was generalizing about men being fickle..playing devil's advocate, but....I do stick to my guns on this one. There is always the exception to the rule...always...I'm glad you fit in this category. :) Your wife is blessed. Yes...for a flower to blossom, it needs constant attention and care. That is what I meant by cherishing someone...

Richard D Seal

Date: 7/19/2013 3:16:00 PM

H can't have the best of both worlds Auntie, you have written a great lesson here and a wonderful poem to say it. Take care, Richard

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/20/2013 9:36:00 PM

Richard...men are hunters...the chase...the chase is what put fire in their veins. I'm the..."Once you love someone pour your heart and soul out for him..." type of woman. No....even in marriage....no. Keep something back...be mysterious....be coy to keep your man interested. Man thrives on the chase...Once the has what he wants..he tends to get dissatisfied. That's my take on things...

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/20/2013 9:32:00 PM

What romancing means to me? Placing value on someone...letting someone know that the sun would refuse to shine if he slipped out of your life...letting someone know that he is the core, the center of your life. The bedroom is not off limits...where better to show this....in a committed relationship...at the right time. Please, if you have time..read my Love VS Cherish poem. Romance is knowing everything about the other person and cherishing who he/she is...hangups and all.

Richard D Seal
Date: 7/20/2013 1:26:00 AM

Here's one idea. Women generally tend to let the man take the lead in the romance stakes but when they do they almost always think thats a quick allurement to the bedroom, Have a go at thinking what romancing means to you and reverse the role.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/19/2013 8:34:00 PM

Yes....true. Any suggestions on what to do about it? ;) Hugs

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 7/19/2013 11:51:00 AM

Sexy and romantic. You are so gifted and sensual with your words. Well done Eileen.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/19/2013 1:01:00 PM

:) All my favorite adjectives, Richard! Thank you for this gift of words! My favorite kind! :) Wish I could share today's FB post with ya. It's all about words...words...words....How I thrive on them....my lifeline! :) Thanks for the visit...Always always a pleasure!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/19/2013 9:48:00 AM

this is quite a poem, Eileen. Passionate and lovely. Is it for that trickle down free verse? oh,no, it couldn't be . That one had to be less than 25 lines. I have no idea how to write that way but from the looks of this one here, I know you could produce a stellar one for that contest. Regarding this poem, I love how you concluded with "will you be able to hold on to me?"

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/19/2013 12:59:00 PM

Hi Andrea! :) Coming to offer me a big dollop of Mint ice cream? ;) Thanks for the visit. No...I don't know about the trickle contest. Sounds interesting! I tried cutting this down to size, but....it's like cutting a chunk of my heart! These words are my babies...Maybe that's why I'll never get published! ;) Yes...being taken for granted is awful! Glad you got the punch line of this piece! Hugs!

Poet Tacito

Date: 7/19/2013 7:57:00 AM

True love is never forced. It is never 80/20. It is 100/100 when giving of ourselves to each others. When there is imbalance on the teeter totter, get off the ride until there is a willingness to see eye to eye. I'll leave it at this, as there is way too much to say. Thank you for this very honest & thought-provoking piece, Eileen.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/20/2013 9:28:00 PM

No, Drake...Richard is only teasing...and so was I. here, my dear, we must agree to disagree...I hope you find that idealist love. I could be mistaken. I'm just speaking from experience and what I've observed. I could give examples, but been told I'm a little too open here so....suffice it to say...I'm not the idealist that I used to be...that's why I'm SO in love with poetry...

Poet Tacito
Date: 7/20/2013 8:13:00 AM

Ok, seriously, this isn't about who is right or wrong or who beat who. This is about being realistic in the expectations of love & how both should treat & express to each other. I'm sorry, but one being a better "dancer" than another in the "music of love" is just one kind of relationship. All are not like this...

Richard D Seal
Date: 7/19/2013 3:05:00 PM

Think she's got you beat here Drake lol

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/19/2013 2:20:00 PM

Yes...it takes two to tango...but one will always be a better dancer...more in tune to the music of love...come now, Drake....admit it! :)

Poet Tacito
Date: 7/19/2013 1:32:00 PM

I understand. Movies like that sell cause it's fantasy. The weak run off that because they can't think for themselves. They want their life to be a script. Predictable. I know you didn't mention "change", per say. It's just that that's part of the full problem when it comes to those who don't open up. That's all. Bottom line: In matters of the heart, meet halfway or step aside. It takes 2.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/19/2013 12:57:00 PM

WOW! Ok....here is a generalization and stereotype, but I'm playing devil's advocate here....men tend to be fickle....Please...if you have time, read my poem...The Nature of Man...Or....Mama Never Taught Me. I believe women are more constant in their affection, more stable, and more giving. Nobody ever said anything about change...change is only for the idealists! It never pans out in real life. You are who you are. The heart wants what the heart wants and will do what it can to get what it wants. Love is NEVER all or nothing. I disagree with you. This is the stuff that poems and novels and movies are made of. Why do they sell? Because love is never 100/100!

Poet Tacito
Date: 7/19/2013 10:37:00 AM

Hi, dear Eileen! =D Here's the thing. Love is absolute. Again, it's not forced. Men, in particular, have a real problem with being pushed, being told to "change". It's a huge mistake made in relationships. If a person (man or woman) won't open their heart, yet they know they DO have it good, how real are they? Love is all or nothing. It's not a part-time job.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/19/2013 8:28:00 AM

DRAKE.........Hi! I'm dying to hear the rest of that...Why stop? However, here is my take on it. 1) Love is NEVER 100/100...I don't believe it, and I remember hearing that in a Marriage and Family class at uni. I might be mistaken...but. this poem shows that it IS actually mutual, but the other party needs a wake up call to realize how much he is in love! Hmmmmmm...do you agree?