I Choose Me
I am all out of sweet donuts today.
I am all out of any kind of patience for you at all.
You are going to have to leave me for a bit.
I am so totally exhausted by you.
You do not entertain yourself,
and I cannot delight me
when I am being depleted and exhausted by you.
It is nothing you have done in particular.
It is the familiarity.
It is the sameness.
It is the whining.
I can feel it starting, and I cannot abide it.
Not today.
Today I choose silence.
I work in a grade school.
I love it there, all day, seven and a half hours.
But when I get home, to my sanctuary, I must have quiet.
I must have outdoors. I must have sunshine. I must have flowers.
I must have dirt therapy. I must have my art studio. I must have my poems.
I am sorry but I cannot abide you today.
It is not my fault you cannot entertain yourself.
It is yours.
I choose me.
So please understand
And do not pout
because I
need full silence.
Come back in six hours.
I might feel differently then.
But I might need sixteen hours.
I choose things that help me forget
the sad children, the mad children, the selfish children,
the bully children, and worst of all the bully-ish adults.
I choose my hobbies.
I choose what I need.
Right now at this minute
you must leave me.
Do not pout
Do not stomp
Do not act like a baby
Because I do not do well with babies.
It is not personal when I ask for silence.
It is not my fault you have silence all day long.
That is your choice not mine.
For me, for today, for this second, for the next few hours
or for the next few days I need to replenish
I need to regroup.
I need to recharge.
I need my joy and my enthusiasm.
I need my zest and my zeal.
I need my bliss.
I need my soul.
I need my muse.
Please do not pout or shout when I choose me.
Copyright © Caren Krutsinger | Year Posted 2019
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