I Am So Lost

I feel so lost... I just want to cry... How can life get better... When all its been is lies... When I close my eyes... I see the two of you... I wish I could be the person I want to be... I dont know whats controlling me... I dont know whats making me so afraid & so ashamed... I feel so weak... I just wanna die... But when I close my eyes... All I see our my children looking at me... I fight the feeling... I try and smile... I try to hide the pain... And not let anyone know... My head is playing games!!