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I Am a Very Bad Poet

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I revised the poem, and would love opinions, my first intention was humor that someone who doesn't like ones poetry would be relegated to hell have to listening to it for eternity. However most of the comments focused on the religious lines, so I changed the poem and would like to know which people prefer. and if I achieved the goal of more humor less seriousness.

So I have been told by a drunk does he own a pair of shoes? has he ever walked in another's? mean and grouchy unkind to falling leaves what dreams were stolen was he the thief or victim robbed? or does whiskey make him dumb? and numb narrow is the hateful mind who sold his dignity a silver coin for naught Scrooge counting compliments like gold ingots stealing orphans smiles, scotch with spite the elevator though goes only down fury and fires and poetic justices he will burn in hell listening forever to the angels voices reciting for eternity my very bad poetry

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Funom Makama

Date: 12/18/2018 10:45:00 AM

hahahahahaha....This has excited me to my soul... My spirit dances like a redeemed bastard with your lines... Keep on writing dear friend.

Eve Roper

Date: 12/14/2018 11:15:00 PM

:) I corrected my Bean hehehe.... One day I will be a good scientist ...

Joseph May

Date: 12/14/2018 9:36:00 PM

Very nicely penned.. Of the two, I like this one is better Arthur..

Arturo Michael

Date: 12/14/2018 1:15:00 PM

So let the torment begin....Will have to compare to answer you...but it's leaning on a witty humor side...

Besma Riabi Dziri

Date: 12/14/2018 12:59:00 PM

Indeed Arthur, the language of words and their layers lead the work of art away from poets original intentions! Hence the possibility of many a reading.. I see beauty in your poetry.. My deepest regards.

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 12/14/2018 4:49:00 AM

I don't do religion either but I do believe in angels. And yes listening to bad poetry sounds pretty bad, Enjoyed your poem, Arthur

Jan Allison

Date: 12/14/2018 3:29:00 AM

lol I much prefer this one Art you know I don't do religion but I'm off to church to help serve lunches today and we were at a church recording a carol concert yesterday lol - I think it would be perfect poetic justice to subject someone to my poop for eternity and at least I'd be somewhere warm too lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mystic Rose Rose
Date: 12/14/2018 4:48:00 AM

Jan you kill me lol

Pashang Salehi

Date: 12/14/2018 12:59:00 AM

Indeed, you're a bad poet, so as Micheal Jackson... He was so bad... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsUXAEzaC3Q

Darren White

Date: 12/14/2018 12:19:00 AM

I love his right hand in a cast :) I don't know which one I like best to be honest, I like both poems

Eve Roper

Date: 12/13/2018 11:16:00 PM

My hubby always told me it would take me a week to get the joke.... So... I see the drunk has his own opinion not looking at his drunken stupor. ( or false) Like or golden boy holding his imaginary throne wanting everyone to bow and kiss his dirty feet.

Sand Blown

Date: 12/13/2018 10:42:00 PM

nice write...so, with respect the street person...hmmphcof...did you try reading him poetry?........................ : ) lol