I Ain'T a Game To Play With - Chapter 1 - Betrayal Snipped Heart Strings

- Written August 11, 2018 Exhausted, you're playing as a suicidal victim once more Confusion sucked me dry all the more to the deep core Thaw me like frozen ground beef… Give me some microwaving relief Hate the actions you make with a passion, it didn’t drive away my positive, encouraging and genuine-sincere interactions I will cry joyful tears I will not fall But, I don’t hate you, despite the mistakes, temptations and distractions…words, buddy, don’t speak louder than actions I shall face my fears Stand tall in hope’s hall Grief is a chaos in our brains of tiresome, quite bratty and quarrel-some, Yet calmness comes at random…like the stomach, consuming a tummy-tum Thoughts sleep inside my yearningly numbing, constantly-singing cranium, a single crumb, Swept under the rug, my lonely love bug, let go of my heart strings, you heartless human… You lost my heart in the sand of the sea and you tried to figure me out, hiding your secrets best you can… In need of a humongous hug…instead, your actions acted like a useless shrug… Like you didn’t care about me…as if I was naught in your life, but my life means a lot to others and God, man oh man, You haven’t a clue of God's plan for me, so keep thinking you can… You didn’t mind my hurt, but I won’t hurt for long…It’s a temporary sip of a mug You told me what you did and made me infuriated, not sure if I’ll ever forgive you, I am the gas fire, descending below the pan… You held on to me until I broke free and ran! Don’t mess with me at all or I will kill the thrill of a slightly tingling, you-truly-suck, leech-like tug...get your lugg! (short for luggage) I know I ought to practice what I preach, But treat people the way you were taught self-respect I am aware I should and could be as sweet as a peach… But bitter like the ancient wine in the bible times, made nearly perfect… Brew me fantasy Instead of reality… Heartache fatality Got me feeling these feels unbearably Dealt with far too much Love is beyond the touch… Guess you weren’t in touch with that part… The many shady moments you broke my heart… At least you told me, you told me Still hurts you did that, despite all we did together – what you did was absolutely stupid and the other person is at fault too and all who were involved – I ain’t kiddin', this wretched thing here, I don’t kid I gave you love and called you 'baby' It’s not sexy or cute to be rid of what we had and hide like cowards do – farewells were where you hid and those, I never did bid and if I did, I was acting like a loud-mouthed, happy-jittery jar without its lid! We were happy…hardly snappy… Until the aftermath of your shameful, awfully terrible actions Left me and you, feeling crappy Yes, feel guilt and overflow with it with sadness satisfactions Trapped in something’s-missing, echoless closets… Of forever-piling, unremitting, remorseful regrets… Darkness is an asylum inside me It blankets my inner being frankly You never really minded my hurt…you gave me failure's comfort, comfort I hurt like an expert, I’ll wear it with pride on my worn-out, white shirt… Sprinkle it with brazen rainbow Your crimes make me feel low Squeezing a billion, trillion limes… Into my tear-stricken eyes a thousand times Countless times, you commit useless crimes Against me, you aren’t the actual victim Nor are you the predator, limb to limb I screamed your name…no answer… I guess I was just a mere blur, not significant and ignored, a butchered cow in the slaughter, feeling unimportant and oh so frightened