"holistic" Healer
There was something odd about this stranger
She called herself a holistic healer
But truly there was nothing “holy” about her
“Bring me an eye of a young newt,” she said
“Two toads that haven’t recently been fed
Be sure to include a Vampire Bat’s head”
“But I just have a problem sleeping in bed;
Shouldn’t I drink chamomile tea instead?”
The scowl she offered filled me with great dread
“You asked for my help; do you really want it?
You risk seeing your name in an obit.”
She scared me to action, I must admit
It took some work, but when I returned
Over to her all her requests I turned
Thinking a cure I must surely have earned
“Ah,” she said wickedly, “thank you, my dear.”
She handed me chamomile tea in good cheer
So I asked why she’d made requests so *****
“Stick around, you’ve more problems than you know
I have to treat that scaly patch that grows
From the top of your head down to your toes”
Ran out, I did, pledged never to come back
Saw in a mirror skin flaking and black
Vowed to find a doctor who’s not a quack!
The newt, toads and bat caused this reaction
Now I needed a full skin extraction
Paid a real doc big bucks for satisfaction
*Written in honor of Deborah Guzzi's The Road to Wellville contest
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