Hissss Christmas Gift
One Christmas I got a wonderful gift
That I knew without even a shake
Coz the sound, made inside the box
Was of a brand new rattlesnake
I thought wrapping up a real live snake
Must have been very hard
But my bro’ said, when he stuffed it in
He held its head down with the card
Though he said it tried biting the UPS man
Somewhere along his brown jacket
But there was no way that it could break skin
Since he had dog bones in his pocket
Well, I grabbed the snake with mom’s new Ove-glove
And placed it in my stocking with care
Then I heard it rattle, while it did battle
With the wind-up toys that were in there
At the dinner table I got so upset
When beside me was a candle holder
To stick the snake in and light it up
But they joked; it would only smolder
Then after eating, we watched the game
But when my dad reached for the chips
The day turned worse so very fast
When his finger, touched the snake’s lips
I yelled, “Bad rattlesnake, let go of dad
Now look what you have done.”
Then when dad fell in the hot wings
My brother quickly dialed, 911
Well, we all got to ride in the ambulance
Though for reasons, very regrettable
And even though it’s been thirty years
That present is still, unforgettable.
By David Fisher 11/27/13 for Perfect Christmas Gift contest
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