Hindsight 20 20
I was coming up on 60, when I found a lump in my left breast.
One day of anxiety turned into two weeks of tribulation
as I returned again and again to the hospital for tests.
At last, I got my verdict: level 2 estrogen-driven cancer.
At this time, I had an unreliable health insurance company.
I felt as if waves of fear were washing over me, for I also
had to make numerous phone calls to “Liberty Health Share”
just to be sure bills were not mounting.
The actual lumpectomy was a glad day for me because
the surgeon was quite certain I would not require chemo
because the cancer had not spread to my lymph nodes.
Finally, a month later I got the news: my tumor showed as genetic.
The waves of fear inside me turned into a tsunami of terror.
Never had I known my father’s family very well.
I have since learned that most of his nine siblings died of cancer.
Sleeplessness plagued me, and I even considered going to Mexico
for alternative treatments because I simply could not fathom
how chemo, a procedure with its own new set of risks, could benefit me.
It would have decreased my odds of cancer returning by only 13%.
Why me, I thought. I always had a fairly healthy life style. Why me?
I have never prayed often just for myself. Even though I developed
through my life numerous weird trials most likely due to childhood trauma,
I’d always accepted my trials and did what I could to get myself help.
Cancer is different. Knowing it can come again is not easy to accept.
I was checking out wigs and feeling so betrayed by my body
when I decided to get on my knees and pray really hard for answers.
The entire week prior to chemotherapy I got on my knees to pray in earnest.
It happened that a renowned retired doctor from Canada was my neighbor.
I was telling him how I was set to start chemotherapy in a few days.
I felt SO good by what he told me. My neighbor doctor gave me clarity.
He set me up with a scientist friend of his who also
admonished me to forego chemotherapy and gave me reasons why.
He suggested natural alternatives to chemo, and I began researching
ways to fight cancer naturally. I now eat 7 servings of veggies a day.
I try to eat organic, and I drink Essiac tea. My own daughter got cancer,
and because she knew of my problems with my post-cancer treatments,
I was able to steer her clear of dangerous things suggested by many doctors.
It’s nearly a decade later, and I haven’t returned to my oncologist.
I am so glad that I listened to my inner voice and took my concerns to God.
Only God knows ME and what I need. This is what having cancer taught me.
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2024
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