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High Notes for Low Clouds - Duy Huynth

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I can't merge with the atmosphere Nor breathe in the stratosphere My feet are off the ground But I'm still tethered Get me away from here! My mind obliges I levitate half of self skywards Maybe that's why my stomach hurts I play a tune Listen to it intently Create a bubble of existence Whilst the ground gets dark and menacing Where would I ever go But 10 inches into safety Just a little distance Where breathing is still possible Note I no longer sing I'm so very afraid my song is tired I wish to discard the song Stop being sorry for myself Didn't I say this all before, over and over Say I can't stand it, then stood it Didn't walk away, or side step Just closed shop, for half a day Time chokes me there And is stolen from me here I can weep and blame the clouds Say I'm sleeping

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Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 11/4/2024 8:05:00 AM

Dear DD, What an excellent insight. Many of us either experience or we know person grappling with the desire for change and escape while feeling constrained by their circumstances and their own patterns of behavior. But yet, I think you show that someone is caught in a liminal space, unable to fully commit to either staying or leaving their current situation. Oh, Life, too many choices. Well Inked! Autumn Blessings, MY Dear Friend, Daniel

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/4/2024 8:50:00 AM

Such insight Daniel! Gosh I'm still hiding myself my hands over here feeling exposed :) thank you for your comment

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 11/3/2024 9:19:00 AM

Another great write with picture. I enjoyed reading your wonderful write. Have a wonderful day/week writing away.............

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/3/2024 1:21:00 PM

Thank you Paula, you too x

Joel Hawksley

Date: 11/3/2024 5:15:00 AM

Your poem, 'High Notes for Low Clouds,' is a powerful and moving exploration of the human condition. The raw emotion and vulnerability you convey in your writing is truly inspiring. The vivid imagery and poetic devices you employ create a rich and immersive reading experience. Keep sharing your thoughts and feelings through your poetry, and continue to inspire others with your honesty and creativity.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/3/2024 1:21:00 PM

Thank you for sharing this insight into the poem, appreciated.

David Kavanagh

Date: 11/3/2024 4:37:00 AM

A beautiful atmospheric piece here Dilly that sweeps the reader of their feet, and hits all the right notes, perhaps your stomach hurts and you are releasing all its butterflies, (I can weep and blame the clouds, say I’m sleeping) the standout lines amongst many, I feel incumbent to follow Ink with another Fave on this outstanding Ekphrasis, cheers David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/3/2024 1:20:00 PM

Nice idea David (expelling butterflies) - I was googling my thoughts for this one to make sure I was correct and read time (going to majorly misquote now!) moves differently depending on altitude (which i knew for space travel) even as little as one foot. Perhaps going to another floor can be felt by the more sensitive!? I was momentarily fascinated by the idea of different lives at different levels - I may revisit the idea. Thanks for the fave and the valued support x

Ink Empress

Date: 11/3/2024 3:43:00 AM

Dear DD, this is just so awe inspiring and impressive! I dont want to say “ wow” but definitely gives the wow effect, and i cant help but quote the essence of this whole poem, and the artwork is stunning! Dunno how you always fine such inspiring pics! I think i might use that artwork for a prompt on insta! I also love the way youv started the poem and how youv written “ Note I no longer sing I'm so very afraid my song is tired I wish to discard the song Stop being sorry for myself” hits home, and the ending is so good, yes gives the haibun energy, is this the kind of poem you are looking for your contest? I absolutely love this one! I keep faving but i cant help it! This is another FAVE

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/3/2024 1:14:00 PM

Thank you for your enthused comment! Love it! Haha another fave - I'll be strutting round the place like I've won the oscars :) happy for your own interpretation of experimental haibun - there's a lot of scope (I listened to the podcast on Poetry Space about them)

thriveni c mysore

Date: 11/3/2024 3:25:00 AM

amazing write dear poet.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/3/2024 1:05:00 PM

Thank you for your kind words Thriveni x