Here, My Dear

Humble yesterday, your intimate memories are now
bearing false witness, following our demise. 
There are scattered whispers of a residential cloud 
nine, that I called my own after the storm. 
No myth could be written guiltier. 
For beyond this stable armor of masculinity, 
existed a worst case scenario that I had obtained. 

It is no fault of your own, to interpret me with the 
simplest guess, and yet, it would be the greatest 
therapeutic comfort, knowing that you recalled my 
brief torture. Here it reads. 

The cruelest servant was obviously day one. 
For as I showered in my own gloom, the clearest 
joy accepted no hint of my presence. 
The hours worked overtime to deplete every page 
of life, that bordered around this broken clockwork 
of loneliness. 

By now I merely existed by priorities merciless 
hand. As I forced myself upon my studies, there was 
no absence of absent guilt on call. 
I realized this inevitable misstep, the moment I 
stumbled into a single entity yet again. 
By the time I found a conscience to shave towards 
a better day, spring had already departed, 
and I was just beginning to exit sobrieties 
unbearable cliff. 

The cause to blame beyond myself was tempting;
to see the bewildered scene, as opposed to feeling 
its complex wounds. 
I yearned for this flood to cease constantly, in 
retrospect, prematurely. 
However, the suffering hadn’t pierced my spirit just 
yet. That cherry that ultimately left a mark on top 
was my sick eyes. 

Perhaps defined as the perfect fate for the already 
faltered, was my cluttered throat, which 
allowed no apologetic cliques to exist in air. 
The devil’s vomit that would not pause until 
more suffering regurgitated, and lastly, 
the mindful ache that vibrated at its own
intervals. 

Friends could sense the hell that plagued my 
sleep. So much that they offered their similar 
battles to my faint ears. 
I heard their souls, but never their hearts; only 
mine was selfish enough for that luxury, despite 
its hostile coma. But then, 5 months, 22 days, and 
4 afternoon hours later, another chapter was introduced, 
and it was entitled The Aftermath. 

The acceptance of what could only be formerly 
beautiful, came to be the answer that cured me. 
In the end, I was thankful for the inferno, and 
overjoyed that these words could be written from 
Solomon’s throne. 

Previous rose, as you open and fold these heartfelt 
abrasions, be mindful of these moments that are no
longer bleeding, but rather teaching, of those bullets 
that never truly miss.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Franceschini Avatar
August 14, 2015 at 8:03 PM
As I often say. Poetry comes from the depth of our soul and you truly have unearthed to us the center of your heart. Inspiring. Thank you for sharing your life. 7 :)
Clemons Avatar
August 14, 2015 at 8:35 PM
Thank you Margaret.
A   Avatar
April 5, 2015 at 4:32 PM
Jiril, Thank you for the sweet reply to my comment. Have yourself a Happy Easter Love LINDA
A   Avatar
April 5, 2015 at 4:09 PM
JIRIL, Dropped by to say hi and congratulate you on having your poem selected by Soup's Administration. This is a wonderful poem to have featured on the homepage. Have yourself a Happy Easter ~Always & Forever~ LINDA
Clemons Avatar
April 5, 2015 at 4:29 PM
Thank you, Poet Destroyer A.
Arkwright Avatar
January 6, 2015 at 5:51 PM
Jiril, suffice it to say I do not enjoy free verse. I have a great aversion to it....that does not apply in this case however. I enjoyed this. Good work.
Clemons Avatar
January 6, 2015 at 6:09 PM
Thank you, Pendleton. Appreciate the love.
Lamoureux Avatar
January 1, 2015 at 9:44 AM
I enjoyed rereading this one. It's odd in a way to say I enjoyed reading your pain, still I guess I enjoyment comes from connecting to myself within your writing. To possess a rare talent. I look forward to getting to know you better. Feel free to explore more of my writing as well, I have a feeling we have conversations ahead of us.
Clemons Avatar
January 1, 2015 at 10:22 AM
Thanks Richard.
Torres Avatar
December 28, 2014 at 2:55 AM
nothing is more precious than to have your dearly one by your side... extremely written in the utmost talent... :) Good job, Jiril !! All the best for you.. :))
Clemons Avatar
December 28, 2014 at 7:37 AM
Thanks Aiyah.
Vaso Avatar
November 22, 2014 at 9:12 PM
A truly talented poet!
Clemons Avatar
November 22, 2014 at 9:22 PM
Thanks Arthur.
Marcum Wong Avatar
November 15, 2014 at 7:46 PM
Wow Jiril! What awesome impressive lines: "I was just beginning to exit sobrieties unbearable cliff." "and lastly, the mindful ache that vibrated at its own intervals." I feel that only someone who has experienced the depth of pain which you express can understand where you lead us in this outstanding window that lets us peer into your soul. You take 'free verse' to a higher level of insight in this remarkable poem! #7
Clemons Avatar
November 15, 2014 at 9:57 PM
Thank you, Connie. Appreciate the love.
Deschler Avatar
October 24, 2014 at 1:07 AM
Sometimes, those who hurt us most, will also be the ones who can love us best. If two people can separate for a time, and find each other again, then their love must be strong and true.... This is such a powerful and moving write. A very, very expressive piece. Amazing work, Jiril!
Clemons Avatar
October 24, 2014 at 5:35 PM
Thanks Kelly. Appreciate the love.
Guillermo - Fraser Avatar
October 22, 2014 at 2:32 AM
truly beautiful Jiril.. ;philosophical and somewhat deeply rooted.. :)
Clemons Avatar
October 22, 2014 at 8:49 AM
Thank you, Olive. Appreciate the love.
Lamoureux Avatar
October 19, 2014 at 11:09 PM
You are a gifted writer, I am impressed.
Clemons Avatar
October 19, 2014 at 11:25 PM
Thanks, Richard. Appreciate the love.
Mcdaid Avatar
October 15, 2014 at 7:11 PM
what a very beautifully penned piece of writing
Clemons Avatar
October 15, 2014 at 8:31 PM
Thank you Liam. Appreciate the love.
Schrader Avatar
October 15, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Wow! Women...who can know them? They are powerful in ways they can't comprehend, and the ones who do, have opportunity to steal more. Thanks for the journey. I tell my boys, "The hearts of men are stable but soft. Women are flexible and are to crown them with glory, but some women surround and choke out life. Avoid them at all costs." Looks to me like you landed on a Black Widow's nest. Pray you get free :)
Clemons Avatar
October 15, 2014 at 6:21 PM
Thank you Trudy. This poem is based on a past relationship, not a current one, so it doesn't effect me anymore. Appreciate your comments though. Peace.
Gulley Avatar
October 12, 2014 at 12:17 PM
An awesome write Jiril and I totally understood. Being there from the other side made it seem like a letter to me. I enjoyed this a lot and look forward to reading more of your work. I love long poems as well in all styles....Sharon G.
Clemons Avatar
October 12, 2014 at 2:22 PM
Thanks Sharon. Appreciate the love.
Schumacker Avatar
October 11, 2014 at 4:51 AM
Good morning Jiril, This is a very complex piece. I had to read it a few times to get to the core elements. There are interesting components and strengths to it. It might be interesting to see this segmented into smaller poems. There could be 2 or 3 other poems within this structure. Nice job though. I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. Earl
Clemons Avatar
October 11, 2014 at 7:37 AM
Thanks Earl. Appreciate the love. I write long poems at times, so there's a story usually present in those poems. It's also metaphorical. It's a story about a man, who writes to his ex, of those dark moments after their break up. She has assumed there were no dark days after their break up.
Walker  Avatar
October 7, 2014 at 9:17 PM
Great philosophical write Jiril... I really enjoyed reading "In the end, I was thankful for the inferno, and overjoyed that these words could be written from Solomon’s throne." Great write! Verlena
Clemons Avatar
October 7, 2014 at 9:41 PM
Thanks Verlena. Appreciate the love
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