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Helpless (Tanka)

HELPLESS (Tanka) i can’t help myself she just smiled and threw a kiss knees are growing weak i can’t help stumbling forward lips form words but not a sound what a fool I am i am breathless stuttering she patiently waits i had planned so carefully but now I fear all is lost yes! I am a fool! the kiss? I thought she meant me but there is this guy she smiles and looks right past me they embrace I crawl away

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Poet Destroyer A

Date: 12/8/2012 10:33:00 PM

deep thoughts... hope these emotions and feelings are all made up... love this...pd

Michelle Mac Donald

Date: 6/3/2011 5:16:00 AM

Oh well, one of those embarrassing moments, Daver. I think we've all had them at one time or another. Sparks of anticipation would get extinguished quick enough.:( I get razzed all the time for never seeing people wave from their cars, and when they beep the horn, I think I'm doing something wrong..duh I'd say your social amenities are more refined. Be proud! Best wishes, Love, Mikki

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 9/15/2010 11:24:00 AM

awwwww well ..her loss! Light & Love

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/10/2010 11:01:00 PM

Daver, to answer your question on the halloween haiku, I like to use the omniscient point of view when I write. Therefore, I KNOW there are creepy crawlies in those woods, because I am god of my own poetry. hahaha. Luv, Andrea

Sara Kendrick

Date: 9/10/2010 8:44:00 AM

This can be embrassing for some but for others no problem they just wave and say goodbye...I am glad that you wrote this one expressing the feelings of that person who lacks that confidence...Enjoyed reading your work..I am so glad that I chose this one..I was gladden when I saw that you had read and commented on one of my works..Sara

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

Date: 9/8/2010 3:12:00 AM

Ouchy!!! Wow Dave, this really could hurt-- and yup you used the perfect word in your last line "crawl" --boohoo :(.... nikko :)

Doris Culverhouse

Date: 9/6/2010 11:27:00 AM

funny poem...so embarassing to think some one is waving at you and not really.

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 9/6/2010 4:04:00 AM

You're right about Astaire and Rogers. I found it on youtube. Love, Carolyn

Brittany Andrews

Date: 9/5/2010 1:45:00 PM

B.E.A.UTIFUL!!!!!! i love your pasion for love or something like that. id like for you to take a look at my poems if you don't mind. and comment what you think. -Angel4eva23

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 9/5/2010 9:43:00 AM

It would be easy to make such a mistake, Daver, but it surely must have been crushing to realize her affection was directed toward someone else. When you mentioned "Dancing in the Dark," were you talking about the Springsteen song or is there an older tune by that name? I know you don't like rock and roll, but I still love you! Carolyn

James Peranteau

Date: 9/5/2010 5:34:00 AM

Your poem made me feel like I was right there watching you crawl away Daver ! Great write Sir ! And it doesn't make you a fool my friend, just more prepared to bring knee pads ! *smiles* I really enjoyed this write Daver ! james

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 9/4/2010 9:20:00 AM

Enjoyed your poem,..p.d.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/3/2010 11:48:00 PM

AWWW, DAver, hope this was not based on a true situation! I enjoyed reading this one. Hope to see more and more posts from you. LUv, Andrea

Wilma Neels

Date: 9/3/2010 9:58:00 PM

Dave, I prefer to think of you being hopeful in this write.. Great story it happens to a lot of people.. I love this write, hope you will enjoy the weekend ahead.. :) Wilma

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 9/3/2010 6:58:00 PM

A nice humorous write, daver

Lucinda Bulger

Date: 9/3/2010 2:03:00 PM

she looking over a four leaf clover or somethin"? Good Luck man, very good write, it tells of the reality - been there.

Susan Palli

Date: 9/3/2010 10:32:00 AM

how humiliating